Someone to talk to
by kouklitsa
Summary: One of Cody's remarks really upsets Kid. Or is it something else that saddens him? Up to the other riders to find a way to lift his spirits. Chapter 14 is up
1. Chapter 1

tle: Someone to talk to.

Disclaimer: Not mine, not ever. Just on a short lease.

Summary:

One of Cody's remarks really upsets Kid. Or is it something else that saddens him? Up to the other riders to find a way to lift his spirits.

---

Jimmy had a serious frown on his face while balancing on the hind legs of the chair he was sitting on as he listened to Buck unfold his story. Cody had managed to keep his foot out of his mouth ever since Buck had asked the riders for their advice as Ike just silently nodded every once in a while. Lou decided to distance herself, feeling Buck would ask her if he wanted her opinion, though couldn't help but listen in as her Kiowa friend told all the other riders about the reason for needing advice. All but the Kid.

He just lay on his bunk pretending to read, carefully hiding he felt betrayed and hurt by his friends all huddled around Buck.

"….we are so different and yet so alike. I'm just not sure on how to behave around her." Buck concluded.

"Sounds to me you're doin' just fine there Buck" Jimmy answered. "Maybe you shouldn't get your hair in a knot thinkin' what you _should_ be doin' when it seems to me you bein' you is just fine as it is"

"Yeah, thinkin' usually only messes things up." Cody interjected.

You can take Cody's word for it, I'm sure he knows what he's talking about from experience Ike signed with a wide grin on his face.

"Now that's just plain cruel Ike!" Cody whined.

Buck let out a soft chuckle as the others had a good laugh at the blond riders' expense. Trust Cody to say something silly whenever he was given the chance.

"Maybe you guys are right. It's just, we've been having such a great time together I don't want to mess things up." Buck continued

The boys all fell quiet for a moment, each one of them thinking of something to helpful to say and to avoid opening their mouths. Kid, who had been closely listening to his friends talking still pretending to read, now had his jaws clenched together. He wouldn't have even made it this far in a conversation about the girl that captured his heart, he thought bitterly.

"You really care about her huh" Jimmy asked as he set the chair back on all four legs crossing his arms along his chest.

Jimmy, Cody, Ike and even Lou all stared at Buck, waiting for an answer.

"Yeah, I do. She really seems to understand where I'm coming from without having said a single word." Buck finally answered. "Things have been great so far I don't want to do or say anything to upset her or hurt her feelings"

"If that's really what you're worryin' about, you'd be best off talkin' to someone else but us Buck" Cody said nodding towards the figure reading on the bunk behind them. "Kid seems to be the expert when it comes to getting woman mad as a cat tossed in a tub of water!"

The four riders burst out in laughter turning their heads towards Kid, all very well knowing how many times he had made Lou explode in raging anger having been thrown just about everything she could get her hands on at him. The vocabulary used in these fits of fury would make the most foul mouthed man alive, blush in shame.

Kid instantly closed the book and silently got up from his bunk. He reached for his coat and fiercely walked towards the door, passing Lou along the way. She jumped up and grabbed his arm knowing he had had enough of the boys' teasing. For months now every passing chance they got, Kid and Lou's relationship would be mocked with Kid taking the hardest blows.

"Kid… don't let them get to you like that" She softly pleaded, but loud enough for the boys to hear.

He stopped dead in his way to door as she grabbed him, and locked eyes with her. With his free hand he removed her clasped hands around his arm and left the bunk house, not having said a single word.

Lou turned around in a whirl and the boys knew they were in serous trouble.

"Why'd you boys always have to pick on him like that!" She bellowed at the four riders.

"Aw Lou, he knows we're just horsin' around. We don't mean anything by it" Cody responded, feeling responsible for Kid leaving the bunk house the way he did and having upset Lou in the process.

Jimmy got up from his seat and walked up to Lou.

"Don't worry so much, he's just gone out to get some air or something. He'll be back soon enough, bein' his old self again in no time. You just wait and see" Jimmy said soothingly.

Lou just stared back at Jimmy; her warm brown eyes turned stone cold before grabbing a blanket and walking out the door.

The four remaining boys all stared at each other.

Lou go after the Kid?" Buck asked after a little while.

No, she's just gone up to Rachel's house Ike signed as he peered out the window.

Jimmy shuffled back to the chair he was sitting on. "I don't know what's been eating Kid all evening, but he's been quite even since supper. Maybe you really pushed it this time Cody, maybe they had another fight seein' as Lou ain't gone after him yet."

"Me? How come I'm the one to blame for the Kid walkin' out the way he did?" Cody exclaimed in astonishment.

Not giving Jimmy any time to shove all guilt in Cody's shoes Buck rose to his feet putting a finger to his lips shushing Jimmy and looked out the window and saw a lone figure lean against the corral. Kid, who normally when upset would try and find comfort in either Lou's arms or Katy's stall was acting completely out of character and Buck didn't like it one bit.

"He's just standin' there" Buck muttered.

Cody jumped up and shoved himself next to Buck to see what he was talking about. "I think you best go out there and talk to him Jimmy" Cody concluded.

Jimmy sighed. Whenever Kid had something bothering him it was always him that was sent out to drag out what he needed to get off his chest. Kid was a man of very few words and trying to get him to open up was painfully hard. And frankly, Jimmy was not really in the mood to battle a headstrong Kid this evening. He was tired and had a run the next morning. He much rather leave Kid sort out his own laundry for a change and talk about whatever eat him alive some other time.

But Buck seemed to have read his mind as his dark eyes looked sternly at Jimmy.

"All right, all right. I'll go see what's botherin' the man this time" Jimmy said throwing his hands in the air as a gesture of defeat.

He grabbed his coat and hat and walked out the door only to be followed on the foot by Cody, Ike and Buck to seat themselves on the porch as the watched Jimmy approach Kid. Jimmy walked up to the corral, but before he could open his mouth the Kid had opened his.

"Just leave me alone" He said in an even tone without turning around to see who had come out to talk to him.

"Kid…" Jimmy started but Kid didn't let him finish.

"I said leave me alone" He repeated, now a little louder.

Jimmy contemplated leaving for a second, but decided against better judgment to try and get through to his friend.

"Why don't you just get off your chest what's botherin ya so much ya have to stand here all by yourself sulkin', so we can all go to bed and enjoy a good nights sleep" Jimmy offered slightly teasing.

Kid didn't even turn around and have his go at Jimmy for disregarding his feelings like that. He merely sighed and looked down at his feet.

"Leave me alone Hickock" His voice sounding like a plea.

That tone in Kid's voice slightly alarmed Jimmy; he hadn't heard his sandy haired friend ever sound so sad before.

"Look… I'm sorry Kid. I don't mean it to sound the way it did" Jimmy spoke as he took another step towards the Kid.

Suddenly Kid turned around; his brow furrowed and hurt clearly showing by the moonlight and the lights coming from the house.

"Just. Leave. Me. Alone." Kid hissed through gritted teeth and walked off leaving a stunned Jimmy behind.

---

Lou stared at out the window, looking at an angry Kid walk away from Jimmy having no idea what came over her lover. This was nothing like the kind mannered Kid she knew and she was worried. But she knew him well enough to know he needed to be alone, that's why she came over to Rachel, not having the patience to stay with the boys. Luckily Rachel understood. Lou knew Kid would say what he had to when he was good and ready. All she could do was hope he would do so sooner than rather than later.

---

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_"Just. Leave. Me. Alone." Kid hissed through gritted teeth and walked off leaving a stunned Jimmy behind_

Jimmy watched Kid walk off in anger, disappearing around the corner of the bunkhouse. He shook his head as he walked over to where the other boys had settled themselves. As he reached the porch Cody was the first to jump up.

"Well?" He asked anxiously

"All I got outta him was to leave him alone. No talkin' to the man the way he is right now" Jimmy shrugged.

"At least you tried. If anything, Kid can't say you didn't care" Cody determined.

Buck and Ike nodded, seeming to agree with Cody's conclusion. Jimmy sure tried, while he didn't even have to. Whatever upset Kid they were sure it couldn't have been anything they had said or done. Sure they mocked him more than he probably cared for, but they did that all the time and never had he responded the way he did tonight.

"Well, seein' I have an early run tomorrow I'm gonna head off to bed." Jimmy said and he walked up to the door of the bunkhouse.

A loud banging on the porch caused by Ike made Jimmy turn around before entering the bunk house.

>What about Lou? Shouldn't anyone go get her?> Ike signed, concern showing on his face.

"Ike, you and I both know she ain't gonna go to sleep with the Kid bein' in the condition he's in. We best leave her with Rachel. She'll come in when she's ready." Jimmy answered.

Cody and buck nodded in agreement and stood up to join Jimmy in the bunk house. They all silently hoped Kid's behavior wouldn't stir things up during the night. The last thing they needed was an angry Lou on top of a sulking Kid. That was if even he would decide to sleep in the bunk house. Because having an angry_ and_ worrying Lou was by far the worst of all.

---

Kid had been standing just around the corner of the bunk house, right by the porch side, listening to the boys talk.

_"At least you tried. If anything, Kid can't say you didn't care"_ He heard Cody say and winced as he felt his anger and hurt flair like it had just before he left the bunk house. If either one of them really cared they wouldn't be in this position to begin with, he thought resentfully.

---

Rachel started tidying up the room to go to bed when she saw Lou resting her head on her hands staring out the window. She felt for the young girl, knowing how hard it must be seeing the one you care most about hurt and not being able to do anything about it but wait until he came to her.

Though the couple had their fair share of trouble, being as young as they were both had learned a great deal about each other by trial and error. And Rachel thought it mighty brave of Lou to give Kid the space he seemed to need right now.

"It's almost time for bed now. You want to spend the night in the guest room?" Rachel asked gently as she put a hand on Lou's shoulder.

Lou turned around to meet the station mistress eyes and shook her head.

"No, I'll sleep in my own bunk tonight Rachel. But thank you for offerin'. I just want to wait till the boys have settled down before I go in." She answered.

Rachel had to do her best not to smile. She knew what Lou had said was only part of the reason she didn't want to go back to the bunk house or spend the night in the guest room. She knew darn well Lou hoped she would get a chance to talk to Kid alone, being quite upset herself about his recent behavior. So she smiled politely and nodded.

"Ok, just be real sure you turn off the light before you go back, and don't stay up too long. You have a job to do now ye hear?" Rachel said as stern as she could.

Lou nodded and turned back to look out the window. Just as Rachel wanted to leave for bed, there were three knocks on the front door, causing Lou to almost jump out of her skin. Rachel went to open the door, only to be greeted by a bashful Kid.

"Good evenin' Rachel. Sorry to disturb at this hour…." Kid started and then paused waiting for a response from Rachel before he continued.

Rachel now really couldn't help but smile. No matter what, Kid never forgot his manners and no matter what, he would always make sure his girl was alright.

"She's inside" She responded and held out a hand to Kid as a gesture to come further.

When Kid walked in the room Rachel could see Lou's face light up at first sight and decided to leave the two alone as soon as possible. She stroked Kid's arm a few times and gave him a motherly smile before turning to Louise.

"I'm gonna check on the boys and you two better be on your way to your own bunks by the time I make my way back here" She warned the two.

Both nodded in agreement, thankful for the given time alone.

When Rachel had put on her coat and was ready to leave to check on the boys she briefly took Kid aside.

"You sure you're alright Kid?" She asked him with concerned eyes.

Kid merely nodded.

"You know where to come find me if you ever want to talk. About anything you understand?" She continued and cupped Kid's face with both hands.

Again Kid just gave a shy nod and smiled faintly.

Rachel rubbed her thumbs gently on Kid's cheeks looking at him one more time with great concern as she saw the sadness in his eyes before she left him alone with Lou.

When the door closed, the Kid walked up to Lou and sat down next to her.

"Kid… ? She asked, not trying to hide the concern in her voice.

Kid avoided her eyes as he shook his head. "It's nothin' Lou"

She sighed; he was not going to say what bothered him. Not tonight any way. And as she didn't want to worsen his mood she pretended to be content with his answer. She gently moved closer, not quite sure how defensive he would be towards her, but felt relieved when he gratefully let her nestle herself in hollow of his shoulder. She could her him let out a content breath as he wrapped his arms around her.

Lou slowly lifted her head up from his shoulder and tentatively stared at his lips and whished he would kiss her. His kisses would tell her everything she needed to know. For now at least. As if Kid read her mind and gently brushed his lips against hers before pulling her into a passionate kiss.

Her heart had skipped a beat as she surrendered to his yearning lips, but she felt somewhat reassured as she could feel his passion push aside the sadness that had overcome him earlier. This was the Kid she knew and loved and she instantly knew he would be ok.

When she gently broke of the kiss, she locked eyes with him.

"We best be getting' back to the boys" She whispered.

Upon mentioning the boys she felt Kid's muscles tighten, and he scrunched up his face a little. But he nodded, knowing he promised Rachel not to take to long. He also felt he had drawn enough attention to himself just as it was and wasn't looking for more. Especially not the negative kind as he had been receiving since he walked out of the bunk house earlier that evening.

Together they made sure everything was in order as Rachel had asked and made their way towards the bunk house. When they reached the porch they walked into Rachel just closing the door behind her.

Satisfied that the two love birds had been true to their promise to be making their way to their own bunks by the time she was done she smiled at them before whishing them a good night.

Lou opened the door and felt a sting in her heart as she heard Kid take in a deep breath before entering. Now understanding that the boys had something to do with Kid's sudden mood swing she prayed they would have the common sense to leave him in peace. At least for tonight. But her fears died down instantly as she saw each of the boys was involved in something of the other, barely acknowledging their presence. Lou felt Rachel must have had something to do with the boys calm and reserved behavior.

Kid didn't feel as comfortable as Lou did though. He walked up at his bunk and started undressing to get ready for bed, carefully eyeing each of his fellow riders. When nothing changed in their behavior he felt even more uncomfortable. They were ignoring him, which he felt was worse than being confronted for his earlier behavior.

Secretly he hoped that he was wrong about his thoughts, he silently hoped at least Jimmy or Buck would come looking for a fight giving him an excuse to vent his fears and frustrations and be reassured that they were completely unfounded. But there was nothing but silence feeding his anxiety. And with that he fell in an uncomfortable, nightmarish sleep.

---

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Morning came faster than Cody cared for as he carefully opened one eye to see who was making such a ruckus. He groaned as the eye he opened saw it was light in the bunk house; that meant the sun was up and it really was morning. Meaning he had to get up and make himself ready for a day full of heavy duty chores. He then lifted his head a little while in search of the source from where the racket came from.

With one barely opened eye he tried to focus; Black boots and grey pants and something black on his head. Ike. No, it couldn't be him. He should be out on a run already, Cody figured as he remembered the sun had already been up. He focused even harder. Hair, it was black hair in a pony tail. Buck.

"Whatever it is you're lookin' for, you best find it soon if you know what's good for ya..." Cody threatened glaring his sleepy eye at Buck.

Buck in turn stopped rummaging through his leather box and threw an annoyed look at Cody.

"Or what Cody? Buck retorted sharply, not amused with Cody's remark. He was looking for something he couldn't find and was close to a complete meltdown.

Jimmy who had been awake for quite some time listening to Buck run around in a frenzy getting himself ready for the day to come, decided pretend sleep was over and propped himself up, leaning head on his hand to get a better view of his nervous Kiowa friend.

Lou, also already fully dressed wasn't in the mood for any bickering and wanted to help her friend find whatever it was that he was looking for so he could start on his chores before it was time to pick up Fay.

Fay was a bright young woman Buck was lucky enough to meet about two weeks ago. She had lived out West all her life, but was sent to live with her aunt for a couple of years in Boston when she and her parents had lost everything they owned in a horrible storm. Not being able to provide for their young daughter, her mother's sister and their husband were kind enough to take her in until her parents would get back on their feet. But what was only meant to last a couple of months, ended up being almost three years living in Boston. About a month ago Fay decided the big city had nothing to offer her anymore and decided to return home.

"If you told me what you're lookin' for, I might be able to help you find it" Lou offered.

Buck gave Lou a thankful smile, he was about to throw the entire content of his box across the room in frustration and her offer to help came just in time to prevent him from doing so.

"I'm lookin' for my leather tie, you know, the one my brother made" He answered, the despair obviously apparent in his voice.

She nodded acknowledging she knew exactly which he meant and walked past Buck, up to his bunk bed and pulled the leather tie from the bedpost with a triumphant smile on her face. As she walked back to where Buck was standing she dangled the tie in the air.

"This one you mean?" She teased with one raised eye brow

Buck let out a heavy relieved sigh as he took the tie handed by Lou and sat down on a chair only to stare at the item he thought he had lost forever. He couldn't believe this was happening to him, this one girl had him wrapped up so badly he most of the time couldn't remember if he was coming or going.

"Thanks Lou…. I completely forgot I'd left it there." Buck said softly being little embarrassed for his earlier behavior.

Lou shrugged "Pretty things catch my eye, I'm a girl, remember?" She said with healthy dose of self mock.

"That mean Kid's the prettiest of all Lou?" Cody squeaked in a sugar sweet voice."Seein' he catches your eye more than anything lately!" and batted his blue eyes fiercely.

Jimmy watched Lou squint her eyes at Cody that suddenly flared in anger and laughed as softly as he could. Even Buck had to put a hand to cover his mouth not to burst out in laughter. But they were lucky, she decided to spare her energy and leave it at an angry stare. But Cody had only just started to warm up.

"Speakin' of eye catchin'… Your blue-eyed boy is still asleep and if I ain't getting no more sleep, neither is he." He said and jumped out of his bunk to wake the Kid.

"Hey… sleepin' beauty… wake up. Hey!.. Wake up!. HEY!" He yelled as he started shaking Kid's shoulder harder and harder.

Kid's eyes shot open, startled by the violent awakening and grabbed Cody's hand shaking his shoulder. "What! I'm up, I'm up! He cried out, still a little hazy from sleep.

Cody couldn't help himself, Kid just made it too easy for him and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't allow himself to let this opportunity pass by just like that. A wicked grin appeared on Cody's face.

"Well, if that's really the case Kid, you best stay underneath this here cover while Jimmy takes Lou outside, or you'll never be able to get out ofyour bunk." He said in the most serious voice he could muster.

Lou fiercefully blushed as the Cody's words sunk in and Jimmy and Buck doubled in laughter having understood exactly what Cody had meant with his words. It took Kid a little while longer to catch on, but when he did, he angrily pushed Cody aside.

When he looked at Lou, she knew he had his eyes on her but wouldn't meet his eyes, obviously embarrassed a little and he felt his heart sink. They were at a very delicate stage of their relationship, and Cody being as blunt as he was about a very private topic didn't help matters much.

"I.. I'm gonna see if.. if Rachel needs any help with breakfast…" She stammered and clumsily bolted out the bunk house making Jimmy, Buck and Cody burst out in laughter once more.

"That wasn't funny…" Kid growled.

Cody was still unable to speak but Jimmy had managed to compose himself a little.

"That Kid,… was indeed not funny. That was hysterical!" He answered in between hiccups from laughing.

"Jimmy, _I_ didn't think it was funny" Kid responded as he leaned forward a finger digging in his chest.

"Well now, this is a free country and we're all entitled to our own opinions" Jimmy pointed out teasingly.

Having had just about enough in the first ten minutes of the day Kid smashed a fist against the bedpost, startling the three boys who had been in such a great mood earlier.

"You're NOT listenin' Jimmy…! I did NOT think that was funny." Kid's voice trembled.

Jimmy felt attacked, and wouldn't have Kid lash out at him for a comment that Cody had made in the first place. Putting up his defense immediately he shot back at Kid the only way he knew how; hurt Kid's pride.

"Somethin' to be ashamed of Kid? Afraid Lou don't like what you got to offer?" Jimmy seethed, instantly going in for the kill.

Kid immediately shot up from his bunk, so completely taken aback by Jimmy's remark he couldn't even get angry. His relationship with Lou had deepened, becoming more serious by the day and Jimmy had hit a sore spot with Kid. This was something he had wanted to talk about, among many other things that had plagued him over the past few months but was always ridiculed before having a chance to voice his fears and anxieties.

Kid had a very difficult time dealing with Lou doing a man's job while still being very much a girl. He felt torn not being able to show his affection in public, not wanting to blow her cover, but chided by Lou for taking things too slow at the same time. In earning her respect with the boys meant he had to do his best to let her stand her own ground, fighting every fiver in his being screaming to protect and stand up for her as he had been taught.

Finding time to spend alone together, where he could just be Kid and she could just be Louise was extremely hard and the boys relentlessly teasing Kid and Lou about their involvement only made matters worse. As some of the boys had made it their mission to 'catch' them together, Kid truly felt he could never let his guard down and let himself relax when together with Lou and that put a serious strain on their relationship.

The times that he was indeed caught off guard, stunned by her beauty or simply wanting to hold her in his arms after a long and dangerous run he was harshly reminded by his fellow riders that their love was constantly challenged.

The situation they were in made it almost impossible for Kid to read her needs properly and not having anyone to talk to, to seriously talk to and use as a sounding board Kid was often misunderstood by Lou as well as his fellow bunk mates making him feel like a complete failure. How was he supposed to be the man Lou expected him to be if everything and anything confused him all the time?

Kid was so tired fighting the unknown, unable to speak out these pent up frustrations and uncertainties he felt like a bomb ready to explode and felt betrayed by the people that called themselves his family for not taking the time to listen to him. He felt his chest tighten as these thought suddenly clouded his mind and he felt it was getting harder and harder to breath properly.

Buck and Cody stared at Kid as his breathing became more and more shallow, even Jimmy was surprised by Kid's reaction. He had expected Kid tojump up and beat Jimmy into oblivion, but not this. The three stared at him as he shuffled back to his bunk, clumsily pulling on his trousers and boots as he started to hyperventilate. The three riders watched their sandy haired friend in astonishment as a wheezing Kid stumbled to the door.

"Air…" Kid gulped sweat beads forming on his forehead "Can't… breathe…" as he held on to anything that would hold him until he finally reached the door.

The sudden change from warm bunk house to the fresh morning air seemed to make breathing even harder and Kid suddenly felt an overwhelming nausea hit him. He barely made it off the porch as he emptied his stomach contents.

Jimmy, who had finally registered what was going on had leaped to the door and was now genuinely concerned for his friend. Kid was not doing well at all, and he felt great relief when he saw Rachel running towards them, followed on the foot by Louise.

"Jimmy, get water and a towel!" Buck, you and Cody go get the doctor!" Rachel yelled as she reached Kid.

All three disbursed instantly, Kid's breathing becoming more and more painful with every intake. He looked ghost pale and his hair stuck to his perspiring forehead.

Rachel sunk to her knees and pulled Kid into her embrace "Breathe sugar… Just breathe" she shushed as she started to rock him back and forth.

Lou just stood powerless, her arms wrapped around her middle as she watched Kid struggle to take in the slightest bit of air.

When Jimmy returned with the water and the towel Kid's breathing was nothing more than an occasional squeak. Rachel took the towel and soaked it in water before trying to cool him down a little for heappeared to be on fire. When Kid's throat seemed to have closed up completely, Lou finally snapped out of her initial shock. She sat down in next to him and took the cloth from Rachel's hands.

"Kid, you need to calm down and breath" She softly spoke as she unbuttoned the top of his long johns.

When she was done she positioned herself closely next to him, faces no more apart than a inch or two ignoring the squeaky breaths he took and diligently started to dab his chest and neck with one handwhile with her other she held his hand.

"Breathe for me…" She whispered as she locked eyes with him. "Slow deep breaths… "

Kid seemed to relax a little as Lou continued to dab him with the cool towel, resting his drained body against Rachel's.

"That's it… slow deep breaths" She chanted as she herself took in slow seep breaths as he tried his best to assume her tempo.

Jimmy watched in awe as Kid and Lou lost themselves in each others eyes, breathing in each others gradually evening breaths. He almost felt somewhat embarrassed watching them so closely together, completely oblivious to their surroundings but felt a weight been lifted from his shoulders as Kid took in his first real breath in what felt like hours.

What had caused this to happen? Jimmy thought with concern. Was Kid sick? Jimmy watched Kid close his eyes, still having trouble breathing he felt a sting in his heart as the thought crossed his mind that something might be very wrong. And he had not seen anything coming. Jimmy felt he had failed Kid as a friend…

---

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"You should be in bed Kid, not sittin' out on the porch" Lou stated slightly annoyed.

Kid shook his head, sitting flat on his behind on the porch "Fresh air feels good" He said with a throaty voice and coughed.

"Stubborn mule…" She muttered underneath her breath, not liking it one bit Kid wouldn't move an inch further than the porch he was sitting on.

Kid felt too drained to feel hurt by her remark, or even let her know he had heard her. It nearly killed him having to get up on his two feet even with Jimmy holding on to him carrying most of his weight. Kid just prayed he could make it back to the porch where he collapsed as his body refueled on some seriously needed oxygen.

"He'll be fine sittin' where he is until the boys come back with the doctor" Rachel said in hopes to comfort Louise. "Now Jimmy, I do believe you have a run to get ready for and you know how Teaspoon hates any one of you bein' late" She turned her attention to a still dumbfounded Jimmy.

"But Rachel… Kid…" He started but Rachel wouldn't hear any of it.

"He'll be fine. Now go" She interrupted with a stern voice

Jimmy glanced over at Lou who nodded slightly, almost as if giving him permission to leave. Rubbing one hand annoyed along his chin, slightly sticking his jaw out showing he didn't agree with having to leave he entered the bunk house to get ready.

"Here, drink some more water" Lou said holding out the cup in front of him.

Again Kid shook his head, remembering the excruciating pain he felt when he had tried to take his first drink after the whole ordeal. Right now he'd rather die of thirst than having to endure that again.

"I know it hurts Kid, but you'll have to drink somethin'. Your body needs it" Rachel said in a motherly tone.

Kid threw a plaintive look at Lou, hoping she wouldn't make him drink but to no avail; she only held the cup with water even closer to his mouth. He was going to have to take another drink. With great effort he leaned forward, allowing Lou to pour the transparent liquid into his mouth. He let the water linger in his mouth, as he furrowed his brow in preparation of what was to come.

"Swallow" Rachel ordered.

Kid tightly closed his eyes as he let the water down his throat. He balled his hands into fists and scrunched up his face in agony as the water made its way down. Lou put the cup to his lips again for him to take another drink and the process repeated itself, this second time even more painful than the one before. When Lou tried to make him take a third drink he pushed away the cup and turned his head the other way.

"No more, please… feels like I'm swallowing razorblades" He croaked.

Lou gave him a faint smile and put the cup down, much to Kid's relief. The sound of pounding horse hooves caught her attention. Jimmy's run was up.

"Rider coming!" Rachel yelled.

Jimmy bolted from the bunk house, paused to take a last worries look at Kid and ran towards the upcoming rider. When he reached the rider he took the mochilla and helped him dismount his horse.

"What's goin' on?" The rider asked, curious to know why Jimmy wasn't ready yet.

"Kid got real sick, didn't have time to get ready." Jimmy explained bristled as he walked off. He hated being rushed.

The rider named Simon, grabbed his horse's rains and tried to keep up with Jimmy "Anything I can do? I'm stayin' in town, took have a few days off"

Jimmy shook his head as he prepared his mount "Buck and Cody went to get the doc, and Rachel and Lou are with him now"

That was all Simon needed to hear, he knew Kid and was glad they had everything under control. As he watched Jimmy perform a last check he heaved himself back in the saddle and kicked the horse to a gallop leaving for town. Jimmy was soon to follow.

As Rachel and Lou watched Jimmy ride off in, they saw three horses approaching with great speed.

"That must be Buck and Cody with the doc" Lou guessed and gently brushed her hands across Kid's cheek.

She was glad they had finally turned up but hated having to deal with people weren't supposed to know she was a girl, the doc included. She knew she would have a hard time to play her part of being a boy if it would turn out something was horribly wrong with Kid and therefore silently prayed he was just fine and the doc would leave soon so she could continue her much needed fussing over him.

But when the three riders approached them to a point where she could recognize their faces she realized with great shock she didn't know the third person Buck and Cody were with. Where was the doc?

"Who's that?" She asked uncertainty clearly audible in her voice.

Kid, who still felt too week to move his body from the position he was sitting in, heard the panic in her voice and couldn't help but feel the need to squeeze her hands briefly, as if to say; Don't worry, whoever he is he's not staying long if it's up to me.

The three riders put their horses to a halt in front of the bunk house and dismounted only to be greeted by a jumpy Louise.

"Where's doc Barnes?" She asked in her lowest voice while eyeing the unknown gentle man in suspicion.

The man Buck and Cody had brought was very nicely dressed; such fine clothes could only be found in the bigger cities. He was a tall man, neatly shaven and had a kind and gentle smile on his face as he approached Lou with an outstretched hand.

"I'm Doctor Fuller, an old friend of Doctor Barnes. He had some personal business to attend to and has asked me step in until he returns.'" The man explained while politely shaking Lou's hand" Now I was told a young man here has had trouble breathing?" He asked and glanced past Lou at the still miserable Kid slouching against the wall of the bunk house.

Still on her toes, Lou shifted her position to block doc Fuller's view of the Kid. He had a friendly way about him, and he had a gentle voice that went with the kind and caring expression on his face. But she didn't know this man, and she wasn't ready to trust this stranger just like that. But Rachel felt otherwise as she was on her feet in a split second, shaking the man's hand vigorously, thanking him for coming out this early in the morning.

"Thank you for comin' doctor," She said for the third time as she ushered him past Lou towards the Kid.

When Lou heard Kid's scraping voice her heart almost stopped.

"You" Kid croaked.

Faster than she had ever moved before in her life she placed herself next to Kid, a menacing expression on her face as she awaited the strangers reply. They knew each other!

"So we meet again… Kid… was it not? Doc Fuller said, a wide smile appearing on his face.

Lou didn't like where this was going at all and threw an angry look at Buck and Cody. How could they bring this stranger to their home like this? Buck and Cody were in the highest state of alert, and kept a watchful eye on the man that claimed to be a doctor.

Rachel, who saw Lou take on her most defensive posture, moved herself next to her and gently squeezed Lou's arm. She was going to get to the bottom of this before she would allow this man to get anywhere near the Kid. Doctor or not.

"You know this man Kid? She asked

Kid nodded and smiled "Ran in to him on my way back from my run last week… His horse…" but couldn't finish his crackled sentence as the strain on his throat caused another coughing fit.

Doc Fuller finished his sentence for him." My horse was crippled and since I'm not as familiar in these parts as I used to be, this young man was kind enough to escort me to the nearest town. He seems to know all the right people when it comes to patching up your horse. I was afraid I'd have to put her down."

Lou looked at Kid who smiled, slightly embarrassed by the compliment.

"Kid and horses…" Cody spoke up shaking his head.

"You couldn't have run into anyone who cares more about them" Buck added.

"Yes, well, perhaps we can talk about this later. I would like to have a look the patient if that's ok" Doctor Fuller said in his professional voice, directing his last words at Lou.

Rachel nodded in agreement and turned her attention to the boys and Lou.

"Why don't you three start on your chores, while the doctor has a look at Kid." She said.

"But we ain't even had breakfast yet!" Cody whined

Before Rachel could say anything Buck swatted Cody behind the head and grabbed him by the arm. "We'll eat later, now come on" He scolded.

Lou didn't want to leave, still very much concerned with Kid and Rachel felt for the girl. She walked up to her "I'll come get you when he's done" she whispered.

Lou blinked her eyes slowly, as a thank you to Rachel for understanding how badly she needed to know he was going to be alright. She quickly locked eyes with Kid before running towards Buck and Cody.

"Mrs.….?" Doc Fuller asked, not having been properly introduced yet.

"Miss Dunne" She answered, emphasis on the 'miss'.

"Miss Dunne, why don't you tell me what happened." The doctor asked.

"When I was makin' breakfast this mornin' I looked out the window and saw him stumble out the bunk house. It seemed he was sick to his stomach, and when I ran out to see him he wasn't breathin' well." She informed the doctor.

Kid felt his cheeks blush in shame, but the doctor wanted more information.

"You say he wasn't breathing well, could you tell me a bit more about that? Doc Fuller asked.

"It was like he was chokin' on his breaths. As much as he tried, it was as if his somethin' was blockin' his passage" She elaborated.

"Hmmm" the doctor muttered and turned his attention to Kid.

"Have you had anything to eat before this happened?" Was his next question.

Kid shook his head." No sir" He whispered hoping that wouldn't hurt as much, but he was wrong.

"Couldn't have been an allergic reaction then" The doctor thought out loud. "Anything else happen before you became ill son?

Kid shrugged. He couldn't see how the quarrel they had just before had anything to do with it but it was the only answer he could give the doctor besides 'no', so he decided to let the doctor know.

"Jimmy and me had some words just before…" He answered hoarsely.

"Ahh… " Was the doctor's response. "Tell me a bit more about that".

Kid didn't expect the doctor to ask further questions about their fight just earlier, and whished he hadn't said anything. How could he even start to explain the reason for the fight without blowing Lou's cover, and talk about the explicit subject in front of Rachel he felt his chest tighten again.

"It was nothin'" He wheezed with panic in his eyes.

Rachel had a pretty good idea what the quarrel was about and Kid's reaction didn't exactly come as a big surprise to her. She wanted to help him, but for the life of her couldn't think of anything to calm him down.

"Seems to me it must have been something" The doctor answered as he opened his bag to grab an odd looking instrument. "I'm just going to listen to your lungs, this might feel a little cold"

Kid's breathing quickened as the doctor leaned forward and place the cold round metal on his chest. After moving it around his chest a few times, listening to the air flow the doctor put he instrument bad in his bag.

"Your lungs are fine" He stated dryly." Tell me what happened this morning before you started having trouble breathing" The doctor asked again.

Kid shifted uncomfortably, put one hand on his throat and tried to swallow. "I told you, it was nothin'" He gasped for air and shifted his panicked eyes to Rachel.

The doctor took that as the young boy not feeling comfortable sharing what happened in front of a lady and decided it was time to talk to him alone.

"Miss Dunne, would you mind if I have some time alone with the boy?" He asked politely

Rachel, who was still trying to find a way to rescue Kid from having to talk about Louise protectively put a hand on Kid's shoulder "I think I'll stay, thank you"

"Miss Dunne, I appreciate your concern, but in order to do my job properly I need to talk to the boy alone" He said.

Rachel had to give in, for she thought the man would otherwise never leave. Kid would have to make it on his own and she silently prayed he would be alright.

"I'll be in the house if you need me" She said and planted a soft kiss on Kid's forehead.

As Kid and the doctor watched Rachel walk off, Kid's breathing became more labored, the foresight of having to tell this complete stranger what had happened causing a tidal wave of panic that for the second time that morning stood in the way functioning properly.

"Take it easy son, if you want me to help you're going to have to tell me what happened." Doctor Fuller reassured.

---


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Rachel's leaving Kid alone with him!" Lou exclaimed, having started on a chore that would give her a clear view of the Kid.

"So? Cody asked, not understanding how that was anything to get upset over.

"We don't know the first thing about this man and I don't trust him one bit" She explained annoyed.

"Rachel wouldn't have left him alone if she didn't feel it was okay to do so" Buck added.

"I hope she's goin' back to fixin' breakfast" Cody mused feeling mighty hungry.

Buck prepared himself for a serious outburst from Lou and carefully took a few steps back, for Cody's last remark would surely make her fuming mad. Buck was right to think she would, because she unleashed her pent up anxiety and worry for Kid in an instance.

"How in the world could you be thinkin' of food, when there might be something' seriously wrong with Kid! Not to mention there's this strange man we know nothin' about, claimin' doc Barnes is away on personal business alone with him and we're too far away to do anything if he tries to hurt him! She burst out.

Cody was completely taken aback by her angry outburst, and wasn't known to deal well with sensitive situations like these. This Kid and Lou thing was a hard thing to get ones head around and Cody had the hardest times handling the situation without worsening the situation.

"Don't you think you're getting' a little ahead of yourself here Lou? I care just as much about the Kid as you do… well maybe not as much and _certainly_ not in the same way…." He smirked "But Kid said himself he knew the fellow and he seems nice enough"

Lou bit her lip in anger, trying her best not to plunge herself onto him with pounding fists and beat him into oblivion. Thankfully Buck was able to read her stance better than anyone and walked up to her to calm her down.

"You know just as well as I do we ain't gonna let anythin' happen to him. We're all worried 'bout him; he hasn't been himself for the past two days now. But you've gotta trust that doc Fuller is here to help, not to hurt him." He shushed.

Lou felt tears well up in her eyes, and shifted uncomfortably. Even after all this time she still felt embarrassed crying in front of the boys. Afraid that if she spoke she would no longer be able to hold back the tears she merely nodded and silently went back to her work.

---

Kid struggled to get on his feet, the fact that he again had to use all the energy he had left to breath made him hope that by standing up it would become easier. If only he would get his breathing under control he would be able to convince the doctor he was fine and would then hopefully leave.

But his legs had turned to jelly, the lack of oxygen not supplying enough blood to all his limbs making him sway dangerously on his feet.

"Easy there, let's sit you back down son".

Doctor Fuller grabbed Kid and directed him to a chair where he sat him down.

"Bend over and put your head between your legs" Doc Fuller demanded.

Kid gave him an odd look but complied, ready to do anything to be able to breathe properly again. After about a minute or so breathing didn't take as much of an effort as it had before and Kid felt incredibly relieved. This doctor sure knew what he was talking about. But the physical exercise was not yet done when Doctor Fuller ordered him to slowly sit back straight up.

"Not too fast, or you'll get dizzy" He continued. "Now hold your arms above your head and inhale through your nose and exhale through you mouth"

Kid did as he was told and felt like crying when after a try or two was able to take in long, deep, nourishing breaths.

"There, now that must feel good, doesn't it" The doctor smiled.

Kid nodded and managed to give the doctor a faint smile. Doctor Fuller had a certain finesse that doc Barnes lacked, that made Kid feel at ease. The doctor pulled up another chair and sat down in front of him

"How's your throat feeling?" he asked.

"Painful" He answered, his voice barely audible.

"I'll go ask Miss Dunne if she can make you some warm ginger extract, that will take the edge off the sharp pain. I'll be right back" He answered and got up to walk up to the house.

When walked past Cody, Buck and Lou, he couldn't help but notice that the smallest of the three watched his every move with a watchful eye. Doctor Fuller stopped and took a good look at the three boys.

One had a strong jaw line, nice blond hair and blue eyes. He had broad shoulders, strong arms and big hands. His body in perfect condition, a healthy -v shape from shoulders to hip.

The second had some apparent Indian features with alert dark brown eyes. He too had broad shoulders, but his strong arms and hands were more graceful than the blue eyed boy. Not built as strong as the first, he could clearly identify the unmistakable v-shape, the sign of perfect health a boy his age.

The third seemed quite tender, big brown eyes with long eyelashes and small shoulders. He could see slender arms coming out of the rolled up shirt and he noticed the petite hands. This one had round features from the chest to the hips, though it was a bit hard to tell through the oversized clothing.

"Interesting" The doctor muttered and continued his way to Rachel's house.

Rachel had hot water ready and handed Doctor Fuller a cup with some ginger to take back to Kid, though he had to assure her more than once that Kid was going to be just fine. All he wanted to do was have a little talk with the boy. When he reached him he handed the Kid the warm substance and motioned him to take a drink.

Hesitantly he took his first drink, scared it would hurt like hell, but to his surprise it didn't hurt as much as when he had tried to drink some water. As the warm substance slid down his throat it left an enjoyable tingling feeling behind, easing the dry pain he had felt earlier.

"Tastes awful, but feels great" Kid spoke, now with a clearer voice.

"Ginger works wonders" The doctor smiled. "Now, before you tell me what happened I want you to know that whatever we discuss is just between you and me. Unless you grant me permission I will not bring forward anything you have told me"

Kid frowned. His gut feeling told him this man was true to his word, and he hadn't done anything to prove he couldn't be trusted. But Kid was careful with strangers. Trust was something to be earned over time, and other than the small talk when the doctor's horse had been injured he knew nothing about this man.

"I see you still have some reservations. I'll explain to you why I'm so interested in knowing what happened." The doctor continued.

Kid gave a curt nod and waited for Doctor Fuller to continue.

"For something to happen what happened to you there generally are only two reasons. One is an allergic reaction to something; the second is more of a mental condition. Sometimes things happen that we don't know how to deal with properly and keeping these things to ones self will make the body act out on that. I think you have experienced the latter and I therefore would like to know if there is anything I can do to help you from having another seizure."

Kid took a moment to take in all this information before speaking.

"So… anything I say will stay between you and me?" He asked carefully, his voice still sounding grated.

"That is correct" The doctor answered.

Kid decided to take his chance with the doctor.

"I… I don't know where to start." Kid started.

"Why not start with the reason for the fight?" The doctor offered.

Kid thought long and hard, thinking how best to word his thoughts. He took a deep breath before telling what needed to be told.

"One of my friends thought it was funny to make a wise crack about somethin' I take quite serious, now especially." Kid was cautious with his words.

Doctor Fuller couldn't make any sense out of what the young troubled boy was saying but decided to let him talk.

"Cody-" He nodded towards the blond rider "along with the rest of my friends always find ways to ridicule what I hold dear" He said as he subconsciously let his eyes rest on Lou. "Most of the time they do it without knowin', but when I end up sayin' somethin' about it, it always makes matters worse. I guess I never get to really say how I feel and then Ikinda stopped tryin'."

The doctor followed Kid's stare and was almost certain it was fixed on that tiny one with the big brown eyes. The doctor frowned. He hadn't even scratched the surface of it, he was sure of it and wondered how far Kid was going to let him in.

"What you do mean with what you hold dear?" The doctor asked, and when he saw Kid stare at his feet he knew he hit the jackpot. "I'm I wrong in guessing you mean a girl…?"

Kid couldn't hold back his smile and nodded bashfully, eyes still fixed on his boots.

"Well I can see how that can be upsetting when ridiculed. Tell me, is she pretty?" The doctor asked hoping he could get the boy to open up a bit more.

"Very" Kid merely stated still smiling again glancing over at Louise.

Doctor Fuller smiled. Kid's affection for this young woman was clearly visible on his face.

"Tell me more about her." The doctor urged.

Kid felt a bit self-conscious talking about Lou, it actually was a topic he had hoped to avoid. Having to talk about things that bothered him seemed useless if he couldn't say everything without Louhaving to suffer the possible consequences. But the last time he was able to talk about Louise had been ages ago, so he gladly took up on the doctor's offer to learn more. If anything, being able to say what he loved about her out loud and have someone listen to him for a change was as much a relief as voicing everything else that troubled him.

"She is the most beautiful, independent, headstrong woman I have ever met" He spoke with great pride. "She keeps me on my toes, made me re-think my beliefs more than once. She's quite the lady"

"I can only imagine" The doctor answered. "How do your friends then ridicule her? She sounds like a wonderful young woman." The doctor asked.

Kid straightened his position

"It ain't so much them makin' fun of her that bothers me, she can hold her own just fine I'll have you know. She lets me have it real good every time I stepped up to defend her. It's our… situation... that makes things difficult. That makes _me _difficult." He explained.

"How is that son?" Doctor Fuller asked.

"She… she ain't like other woman." Was all Kid was willing to say.

"I'm afraid I don't understand" The doctor stated hoping Kid would finally bite the bullet.

Instead Kid got up on his feet, still feeling a bit shaky, and stared at where Lou was hard at work.

"That's exactly the part that makes things so damn difficult." He whispered and felt he was done talking to Doctor Fuller.

There was nothing else he was willing to talk about and turned around to face the kind doctor. "Thank you for coming out here Doctor Fuller, I appreciate everythin' you've done for me, but I think I'll be just fine now."

"Kid, I'd like to believe you will be. But until you talk to someone about the things that trouble you so much your body will to continue to find other ways of letting out these pent up frustrations. Just be aware of that" Doctor Fuller explained as he got up and walked to his horse.

"I'll try doc… I promise." Kid answered sincerely.

"Come see me if you want to talk. Like I said, anything you and I discuss stays between you and me. I'll be here for at least another week." Doctor Fuller offered.

Kid nodded, he was sure to take up on that offer in case he needed to. He watched the doctor mount his horse and walked up to shake his hand.

"Thanks again" He said timidly, silently wondering what it was about this man that made him want to tell him everything that bothered him.

"No problem Kid, you just take care of yourself" Doctor Fuller said as he gently patted the neck of his horse." Oh and Kid… tell your girl she did a fine job on that fence there"

"I will-" Kid answered before he could stop the words from leaving his mouth.

Doctor Fuller smiled. He knew she was the one that had this boy head over heels in love.

"I mean.. I…I…" Was the only thing Kid could get past his lips when he realized what he had done.

"Kid, I didn't become a doctor just reading books. I have a fair share of knowledge when it comes to the human body and I'm yet to come across a man or boy that has as lovely features as that girl of yours. Though she hides it well I have to say. What is her name if I might ask?

"Lou... Louise…" A completely dumbfounded Kid answered.

Well, I suggest you go tell Louise you're going to be fine so she can stop her worrying about you. And don't forget what I said; what's discussed between you and me is confidential. That includes what we've just talked about." The doctor said again in his professional voice.

Kid nodded placing his two hands over his head and watched the doctor ride off.

---


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

As soon as Doctor Fuller rode off, Lou stopped what she was working on and ran over to where Kid was standing

Slightly our of breath she reached him and struggled to keep herself composed; letting her guard down and showing she was worried was not something she was keen on expressing. But the Kid had been in such a poor condition earlier she didn't bother to hide the concern for him in her voice.

"Are you ok? What'd the doc say?" She asked as she slowly grabbed his arm with on hand.

Kid couldn't help himself and smiled. He secretly liked it when Lou fussed over him.

"I'm gonna be just fine" Kid answered and gently squeezed the hand she held on his harm.

"Kid, what'd the doctor say?" Lou repeated the question. If anything she needed to know what caused him to fall ill like that so she could make sure it wouldn't happen again.

Again trying to find the right words he clenched his teeth together and frowned. All this damn talking and explain without really being able to get to the point made him weary. He thought about telling Lou that the doc knew that she was a girl, after all, telling the truth was always best. But right now he wasn't in the mood to tell her anything but should she ask he would answer truthfully, he decided. Though he was determined to keep as much from what he and the doc discussed to himself.

"Kid….!" Lou pleaded.

"The doc told me to stay away from overly fussy people" He joked with a crackled voice.

"That sure is a challenge… or did the doc have any useful advise on how to get away from yourself Kid?" Cody said with a wide grin as he approached his two friends followed by Buck and Rachel.

"Cody, that's not a nice thing to say after what he's been through…" Rachel chided and rubbed Kid's back soothingly. "Now let's get you in to your bunk, you need to rest"

Kid shook his head. With both Ike and Jimmy gone there was too much work to be done to leave to Buck, Cody and Lou. He and Lou would try and sneak out for an hour or so after they were done and having Rachel hover over him making sure he was alright would be sure to ruin their rendezvous. On top of that he didn't want to be the reason for Buck being late for his date with Fay either. Even though he felt a little tired and by now a bit hungry, he otherwise felt fine.

"I'm fine Rachel. Just a sore throat."

Rachel gave him an examining look, and when she saw the color had returned to his previously ghostly pale cheeks along with his unique tender smile she knew he wasn't pushing himself. She still wasn't too sure about Doctor Fuller and what they had discussed but she'd ask him about that later, now was not a good time asking questions. When she looked at Lou, her furrowed brow told Rachel she was not convinced one bit. She decided to give the two some time alone to talk.

"Fine then, you get cleaned up and get dressed. We'll see you in the house for breakfast. You hungry?"

"Yes ma'am." Kid replied hoarsely and smiled.

"Buck, Cody, you head on up to the house and set the table." She ordered the boys.

Upon hearing the word breakfast Cody had already turned around and made his way to the house, thanking his lucky stars that he was finally going to have something to eat. He didn't care that Rachel only asked him and Buck to head on up, all he had on his mind was alleviating his compounding hunger.

Buck however paid more attention, and figured Rachel decided to give the two some time alone together. Either way was fine with him, he however wasn't hungry at all. His stomach seemed to have tied itself into one gigantic knot as the minutes passed by and his date with Fay came closer and closer. Selfish as it might have seemed, he was glad Kid felt well enough to do his share of the day's chores. If all the work had to be done with just the three of them he'd never make it on time, he gathered.

"Glad you're okay Kid, you had us scared there for a minute" Buck said patting his friend on the shoulder before joining Cody in the house to set the table.

Kid smiled and turned his eyes to Lou which was Rachel's queue to leave for the house.

"Breakfast is ready, so don't be long." She reminded the remaining riders as she walked off.

Kid just stood there not knowing where to look. When Rachel ordered the boys to go to the house he suddenly felt a little embarrassed knowing that he would be alone with Lou, who was most likely going to ask him questions about what happened to him. His throat was still very sore, his legs still wobbly and his mind very clouded. She seemed to since his tenseness and merely walked up to the bunk house door.

"You comin'?" She asked, still concern apparent in her voice.

Kid sighed and made his way up to the bunkhouse.

When he reached his bunk he sat down on the edge and buried his face in his hands.

"Kid, what's goin' on? You're scarin' me… Say somethin'" Lou pleaded as she took a seat across Kid's bunk.

Another deep sigh escaped Kid's lips.

"I'm fine Lou, I'm not sick or anythin'. You don't have to worry 'bout me, I'll be just fine." He answered.

"You keep sayin' that you'll be fine, but you were anythin' but fine this mornin and you ain't tellin' me why. If you ain't sick then what is it?" She prodded further, determined to get some sort of answer out of him.

"The doc said I need to talk more… "Kid started, feeling like a mental patient as he tried to repeat what Doctor Fuller had told him.

Lou had to think about that for a minute, and silence fell as she got up from her bunk, grabbed on of his shirts and handed it to him before sitting down next to him.

"Talk about what?" She asked.

Kid got up from his bunk, feeling crowded all of a sudden and having a hard time dealing with his emotions as he had to admit to the woman he swore to protect and keep safe that he was losing his mind, that he was weak.

"Talk about things that bother me. Or make me happy. Or anything that needs sayin'." He then answered as he fidgeted with the shirt Lou handed him.

"You always say what's on your mind, how does the doc figure you need to talk more? And how does talkin' stop you from not bein' able to breath properly? Lou asked; none of this was making any sense to her. Kid was the one and only person that carried his heart on his sleeve all the time. To her he had no issues at all when it came to talking about things that bothered him. She knew that first hand.

Kid knew he was going to have to talk to her about this some other time. He wasn't thinking straight. He was hungry, tired and wasn't in the mood for brain picking. All he wanted right now was to hold her, breath in her sweet scent and forget about the world for a moment.

"Come here" He beckoned with open arms. "Leave the worryin' up to me, I'm better at it than you are" He joked.

Lou chuckled, his self mock drove away the last bit of concern and she gratefully nestled herself in his inviting embrace. She pinched his shoulders playfully.

"Don't scare me like that again. It makes me all go all girly on ya" She murmured sarcastically.

Kid snickered. "Can't say I don't like it when you do… but I'll do my best not to scare you like that again." He answered truthfully.

Suddenly Kid's stomach let out a loud growl and Lou lifted her head to meet his eyes.

"You're hungry, let's go and join the others for breakfast. Promise me we'll talk more later?"

Kid nodded and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. He slowly let her out of his embrace and watched her walk towards the door. He quickly grabbed her hand before she was out of his reach for he needed to tell her something before she left.

"I love you" He whispered.

"I love you too Kid" She answered with a tender smile.

---

Breakfast was messy and noisy; Cody being his loud and obstinate self as usual and Buck who for the life of him couldn't keep his nerves under control spilt just about anything he had his hands, only to be followed by a wise crack from Cody. Lou would then umpire between her bickering blond- and half Kiowa friends only to have milk spilt all over her Cody's roaring laughter infuriating her of course. She let them both have it good, telling them they behaved like little children like only Lou could.

Kid enjoyed himself, being careful enough to stay out of this mess. All misery he felt earlier that morning vanished like nothing ever happened as he watched his friends run a mock during breakfast. He considered himself lucky, and decided to take the doc's advice and start talking a bit more about things he needed to talk about. Surely they would listen. Perhaps he hadn't given his friends enough credit.

The day's chores were up next and Buck couldn't get them over with soon enough, Lou and Cody were out getting the supplies Rachel needed and Kid was left alone with a highly stressed Buck. Knowing the feeling Kid left his friend alone, and finished their chores in silence. Which wasn't a bad thing considering his throat still hurt like hell.

Lunch was even worse than breakfast; Buck wasn't able to have a single bit to eat knowing that he was only two more hours away from finally meeting up with Fay. Cody felt the need to express his discomfort for being stuck with three love sick puppies and was treated to three ice cold stares and scolded by Rachel for the umpteenth time that day.

By the time Buck was about to ride out, Teaspoon had made his way to the station and was drilling the nervous wreck like he always did.

"You treat her proper like, be the perfect gentle man now ya hear." Teaspoon roared.

"Yes sir" Buck replied with trembled voice

"A lady needs treatin' with kindness and respect." Teaspoon continued roaring, eyeing Rachel as he spoke to the young man.

Rachel smiled, knowing that the only reason Teaspoon said the things he did was because she was there.

"You have fun Buck" She said smiling and patted the young man on the back before walking off.

"Thanks Rachel, I will" Buck answered timidly.

As soon as Rachel was out of hearing range Teaspoon leaned closed towards Buck

"Just remember son, woman are fickle creatures. It's like when you're doin' the tango, while she wants you to lead and you should 'coz you're the man and men lead, she's gonna guide you to where she's gonna want to go. Just go with the flow son." He whispered loud enough for the others to hear.

Buck just stood there, pondering Teaspoon's words for a moment.

"What's a tango?" He asked after a long silence.

Four questioning pairs of eyes were fixed on Teaspoon; each one wanting to know what the heck he was talking about. Teaspoon groaned. Oh how much these youngsters still needed to learn about the finer things in life.

"It's a dance, never mind what I said. Just follow her lead, without lettin' her know she's leadin'" He answered.

Buck's expression grew even more confused with Teaspoon's last statement.

"Just have fun, but not too much fun" Teaspoon sighed when he realized Buck was more confused than anything.

That seemed to do the trick, as a wide smile spread across his face and he mounted his horse. As he rode off Teaspoon turned to the other three standing next to him.

"I do believe you have some chores to finish up on?" Teaspoon stated matter of factly.

The three growled before heading towards finishing the last chores of the day.

"Uhm, Kid, could I talk to you for a minute?" Teaspoon asked.

Kid stopped and closed his eyes exasperated for a second. He know Teaspoon must have gotten word of what happened and was going to ask questions.

"Yes Teaspoon?" He said as he turned around.

"Doctor Fuller came by, tellin' me you weren't well this mornin'. Now he wouldn't say what it was that ailed you, sayin' it was confidential and all. But I just want to make sure you're alright an' everythin'." Teaspoon not telling Kid the entire truth.

Doctor Fuller had indeed come by and had told him that Kid was quite ill that morning. And he had indeed said that what he and the Kid spoke about was confidential. But what Doctor Fuller also said was Kid was in a vulnerable state of mind and that he needed to take care of himself a bit more.

Teaspoon however pulled that last bit a little out of context thinking Kid was unstable and had every intention of speaking to the boys and Lou to leave him to himself for a while so he could sort out his problems. Teaspoon would make sure that the boys keep their big traps shut and not upset Kid even more. These young boys had no idea how to handle these kinds of issues and even though they had good intentions, talking to him without knowing how fragile he was at this point would probably send Kid right over the edge, so Teaspoon figured.

"I had trouble breathin' this mornin. Doctor Fuller has been great, he helped me a lot. He said I'll be fine, told me what I need to do to prevent that from happening again" Kid explained.

"Well, I'm glad you're feelin' better. And you best listen to what the doctor said." Teaspoon answered.

Kid smiled faintly, being quite fed up with all this concern over him.

"And son… Don't worry too much about it. It happens to the best of us." Teaspoon added heavily.

Kid gave Teaspoon an odd look, not quite sure where that last comment came from, but didn't give it much further thought. Teaspoon had a habit of saying things that never made any real sense.

"Sure.." Kid replied, hoping that would be the end of this weird talk.

Teaspoon nodded, and watched Kid walk off to the barn to finish his last chore of the day. After dinner, he'd ask Kid to do something that would require him to leave the house so he could talk to the others and tell them to leave Kid alone. He'd tell them how important it was not to upset him and how it would be best to avoid heavy subjects. It was for Kid's own good.

As Kid made his way to the barn, he walked up to Katy and rubbed her nose.

"I think I might have made a mistake Katy girl. I was angry at them for not listening, while I never even tried sayin' somethin' to them to begin with. Well… that's all gonna change tonight." Kid murmured to his mare.

---


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Ike was the first to return to the station. His run, aside from Jimmy making a special delivery, would be the last of this week since he wasn't given any new mail to be delivered. Jimmy returned to the station, a few minutes short of an hour later than when Ike had rode in, just in time for dinner.

When he left that morning he was in a great rush to get the mail delivered as soon as possible and make his way back to the station to see how Kid was doing. He rode his horse as fast as he could, pushing the animal to its limit. His past had made Jimmy tough through and through, always trying to keep people at a safe distance but somehow Kid managed to get under his skin. He would never allow himself to say it out loud, but Kid had become like a brother to him and he was scared out of his wits something bad happened to him while he was away.

When he reached the station he was greeted by Cody who took his horse from him as he dismounted. Careful not to sound too concerned he answered the standards questions always asked after returning from a run before asking how Kid was doing.

"Hey there Jimmy, you have a good ride?" Cody asked as he patted the horse's neck.

"It was long and dusty" Jimmy growled. He hated this chit chat; they all rode so they all knew what it was like. Why ask when you already know the answer.

"You made good time. Didn't expect you back for a few hours" Cody stated.

"Sorry to disappoint you Cody. I'll try and prolong my next ride, you know how I aim to please" Jimmy said sarcastically.

Cody ignored his friends' foul mood, having grown used to the lashing out. He knew he didn't mean what he said, and even when he did, he only meant it for a brief moment.

"How's Kid doin'? Jimmy asked as plain as he could.

"He's fine. Doc Fuller patched him up in no time." Cody explained.

"So what was wrong with him anyways?" Jimmy asked, not content with the answer Cody had given him.

"He couldn't breath Jimmy, you were there remember" Cody answered confused with Jimmy's question.

"I know what happened to him, thank you Cody. I asked what's wrong with him." Jimmy replied annoyed.

"Hell, I don't know. The doc left before any of us had a chance to ask questions and Kid hasn't said much about it since. Talk to Kid if you're so concerned" Cody snapped.

Jimmy waved his hands in a dismissive manor. There sometimes was no talking to Cody. He'd just have to go and see for himself.

He made his way to the bunkhouse, to wash up and change clothes for dinner. Emma when she had still been with them had made real sure washing up and appearing at the dinner table proper like became part of their ritual when they returned from a ride, but when they thought they had it rough with Emma, they hadn't met Rachel yet. She was relentless when it came to sleeping or eating dirty.

Ike was almost done, buttoning his shirt when Jimmy walked in. He was given a short nod and Jimmy returned the gesture. These types of conversations he liked when tired, hungry and in serious need to know his friend was alright.

After freshening up he went to look for Kid. Since his return he hadn't seen him around, and when he came to think about it, he hadn't seen Lou either. He snorted, how could he have expected anything else from the two? Any given chance they'd sneak off together, probably hiding somewhere in the barn doing things Jimmy didn't care to think of creating an image in his head he surely could do without.

Upon entering the house, he saw the table was set and everyone but Buck was seated at the table, ready to eat. He saw the pink flush on Lou's cheeks and he felt slightly annoyed with himself. Apparently he needn't have worried so much, Kid must have bounced back to his old healthy self again in no time at all, her brightly colored cheeks were proof of that. Quickly pushing those thoughts aside, actually more relieved than annoyed that his friend was alright he sat down at the table to eat.

"I see you're doin' much better than you did this mornin'" Jimmy said to the Kid.

Kid smiled faintly, not taking his eyes off his plate. Even though he decided it was time to start talking more just as Doctor Fuller had said, he found it hard to forget the argument they had that morning. Both Cody and Jimmy had stepped on his soul, having gone one step too far for him just to pretend nothing had happened. But he was going to try, for his own health he had to try.

"Throat's still sore, and it took a while before I started breathin' normal again, but otherwise I'm fine." He said looking up, his eyes shifting from Jimmy to Cody.

Jimmy was baffled, if anything, Kid was master at ignoring people who he felt didn't deserve talking to. Holding a grudge was what Kid did best, his prime weapon to make people pay for hurting his feelings by killing them with silence. And even though Jimmy started the conversation he never thought he would get an answer, he expected a cold stare, perhaps a shrug, but not a real answer. One look at Cody told Jimmy he felt the same way.

Jimmy nodded, impressed by the answer he was given "So, the doc tell you what caused it?"

Kid took his time answering that question. He hadn't had the chance to talk about this with anyone yet, not even with Lou. By the time they were done doing all the chores they only had half an hour left to before dinner was ready. After washing up and getting dressed they had less than fifteen minutes before Rachel would call them in and Kid convinced Lou he'd much rather spend those precious minutes doing something they would enjoyed much more than talking. One devastatingly gorgeous smile and she was sold. They'd talk some other time when she hadn't missed his sweet kisses all day.

"Doc said it was unlikely to happen again" Was all Kid said, not wanting to sound as if he was going crazy which they'd surely think if he told them what the doctor really said.

That was Teaspoon's queue, or so he thought, and jumped in. He made sure that he sat next to Kid and as Rachel moved around the table filling each one's plate he knocked over his glass, right in to Kid's lap.

Kid jumped up from the table, grabbing a napkin and started dabbing his pants.

"Aw, sorry 'bout that son!" Teaspoon apologized loudly.

"It's okay, it's just water"

Cody stifled a laugh, finding this highly amusing.

"You best go and change son and hang those pants out to dry" Teaspoon ordered.

Trying his best not to show he was annoyed he nodded he made his way to the bunk house. Teaspoon waited a few seconds after the door closed before saying what he felt was necessary.

"Boys… Lou…Rachel, there's somethin' you need to know." Teaspoon started with a serious tone. "Today Doctor Fuller came by and told me what happened to the Kid. Now I ain't gonna repeat what the doc said, all's I'm gonna say is we need to be real careful with the Kid"

Cody' earlier amusement faded instantly with Teaspoon's serious tone of voice. Five pairs of eyes stared at him in pure shock and Teaspoon knew he had some more explaining to do.

"It seems he ain't doin' to well in here" Teaspoon said pointing at his head. "He needs some space to figure out whatever it is he needs figurin' out. That means I don't want none of ya to burdenin' the Kid, anythin' that might upset him could send him right over the edge"

None of them spoke, not quite sure what to do with the information they were just given. Especially Lou was at a loss and Teaspoon picked up on her demeanor in an instance.

"Lou, I understand this is gonna be hardest on you seein' you and the Kid are… er… close, but you have to be strong and give the boy his space. It's for his own good."

Jimmy was the first to speak." What do you mean, right over the edge? He asked in disbelief." Kid's one of the most level-headed people out there"

"Yeah Jimmy's right. Sure takes things a little too serious from time to time, I can't believe he's losing his marbles. I mean this is the Kid we're talkin' about." Cody piped in.

>He does seem different than usual lately> Ike signed, carefully eyeing Lou.

With Ike's last comment the whole table burst out in a noisy racket, each one having something to say about Kid's condition. Everyone but Lou. Paralyzed she listened to the heated conversations and when she had enough she pounded her fist on the table and stood up from her seat.

"Ain't nothin' wrong with the Kid, that Doctor Fuller don't know what he's talkin' 'bout!" She spat angrily.

Teaspoon leaned forward and locked eyes with her.

"Lou… If you don't trust Doctor Fuller, then trust me. Kid is anythin' but fine and we need to be real careful he don't get any worse. "

He then turned to the rest of them "You all leave him alone now ye hear? Talk, but don't say nothin'. If he wants to talk serious, tell him to come see me, or talk to Rachel. I don't want none of you putting crazy ideas in that head of his. This is serious business, you understand?

The three boys nodded, but Lou was still completely blown away from what she was told to do. Stay way from Kid? How on earth was she going to manage that? She threw a plaintive look at Rachel, her throat tightening in trying to hold back the tears that started to well up.

It was as if Rachel could read Lou's mind. "Louise, sweetheart, you don't have to stay away from him. Just give him some space, some time to think. He's in a vulnerable place right now and you need to be careful around him. You think you can do that?"

She nodded; grateful the new rules didn't apply to her completely. She could manage being careful if it meant helping him whatever he was going through.

"Someone's gotta tell Buck when he comes back" Cody said remembering they were one man short at the table.

>I'll talk to him> Ike signed.

"Good, that's settled then." Teaspoon brawled. "Just don't let Kid know anythin' about what we just talked about and everythin' will be back to normal before we know it."

Everyone nodded and they all silently waited for Kid to return to the table.

When returned with clean, dry pants only moments after the conversation had ended. None of the riders dared look at him but Kid by now was so incredibly hungry he didn't notice the change in behavior upon his return.

The other riders were thankful for the Kid not being someone to talk much during dinner. Teaspoon once mentioned it was probably because he was taught it was not proper to talk while eating and right now his dislike for making conversation was more of a blessing than ever as each one of them mulled over what Teaspoon had told them just moments before.

When dinner was over, and the boys made their way to enjoy some time free some chores and other obligations they sat outside on the front porch enjoying the fresh evening air. All of them felt like they were walking on eggs now, and tried their best to keep conversation as light as possible with Kid present.

"Wonder what's keepin' Buck, he's late." Cody said.

"My guess Fay's keepin' him. And he'd be a fool not to let a pretty lady like her do the keepin'" Jimmy snickered.

Lou smiled. It was true, Fay really was a beauty. Buck was lucky to be able to spend an afternoon away from work and the boys. She caught herself pitying herself for not being able to do the same with Kid. That was the downside of pretending to be a boy working for the express and though she knew full well what she was getting herself into; Kid unwillingly had to suffer the consequences just the same.

She knew it frustrated him beyond belief sometimes, but now she wondered if she knew how much it actually bothered him. Maybe that was one of the things he was trying to figure out. Perhaps he was trying to decide if it was worth all the trouble; if she was worth all the trouble. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense to her. She was putting him in a position he didn't ask to be in in the first place and made up her mind. If it was space he needed, she was not going to stand in his way how ever hard it was going to be on her. She owed him at least that.

"I'm going to lie down. I see you boys later" She said as she got up.

"I'll go with you" Kid said waiting for a wise crack or a funny look from the boys.

But none of them dared to do or say anything and Lou just shrugged indifferently.

Everyone, including Kid frowned "You don't want me to come?" Kid asked.

"You decide. Not askin you to come, not askin' you not to" She stated and walked off leaving a confused Kid behind.

The boys felt they were coming awful close to what Teaspoon would describe as 'serious business' and made a run for it; just as Teaspoon had ordered.

"I'm gonna check on the horses, Ike you wanna come help?" Cody said and gave Jimmy an apologetic look for not having picked him to join.

Ike nodded and walked with Cody to the barn leaving Jimmy alone with Kid.

"What'd I say?" Kid asked Jimmy not understanding why everyone left the way they did.

Jimmy thought it was best not to answer that, knowing he was aggravating Kid more and more with each second that passed.

"Jimmy, talk to me. What's goin' on here?" Kid was getting angry now.

Jimmy thought long and hard before he answered. And even though he knew the words would hurt him, it was the only thing he could think of saying.

"I can't talk to you right now Kid."

He was about ready to explode, everything was fine before dinner and now all of them shunned him like he was a leper. None of this made any sense at all. Before he was able to unleash his rising anger Jimmy put a hand on his shoulder and looked him straight in the eye.

"We're just tryin' to do what's best for ya." Jimmy said in a serious tone.

But Kid harshly removed Jimmy's hand on his shoulder, this last comment being all that he was willing to take "Damn you Jimmy, damn all of you!" and stomped off.

"Kid where you goin'?" Jimmy yelled after him. "Kid!

But Kid was done listing, and done talking. He needed to get out of there and he needed to get out of there fast. Not bothering to saddle Katy he rode off, almost knocking Jimmy over as he kicked his mare to a gallop.

---


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Lou closed her eyes in an attempt to hold back the tears she felt welling up when she heard Kid's angry voice, but held her breath in anxiety when she heard the pounding hooves and Jimmy yelling after the troubled rider. She knew there and then he was hurting so badly he couldn't stand to be around anyone anymore and rode off to be alone. A hot tear ran across her cheek but she didn't care. Kid was miserable and so was she.

---

"Jimmy? What's goin' on? Where's the Kid off to?" Cody asked confused as both he and Ike ran towards Jimmy from the barn. "We saw him burst into the barn, took Katy and heard him ride off. What happened?"

Jimmy ran his hands through his hair and paced back and forth not really knowing what to do with himself. He felt angry with his fellow riders for leaving him alone with Kid like they had and he felt angry with himself for saying all the wrong things, for making things worse.

"I don't know what happened!" Jimmy snapped.

"Well, ya must've said somethin' for him to ride off like that!" Cody answered raising his voice.

In a split second Jimmy had leapt up to Cody and had his hands clutched firmly around Cody's collar.

"If _you_ hadn't left me alone with him, this wouldn't have happened!" Jimmy hissed through grated teeth, his face only inches away from Cody's.

Cody instantly grabbed Jimmy's wrists and struggled to release himself from his friends' firm grip "So this is my fault now? How 'bout we don't go pointin' fingers for a change and go after him before he goes and does somethin' we'll all end up bein' sorry for!"

Ike, who had witnessed the sudden explosion between Jimmy and Cody, finally jumped in between the two and separated one from the other. He gave each in tern a stern look like only Ike could before signing what he thought about all of this.

--This is not Cody's fault. It's not yours either. Kid's in a bad place right now and he needs time to figure things out for himself. Let him. We owe him at least that.-- He directed to Jimmy. --and we're not going anywhere, we're staying put.-- Just like Teaspoon said. He turned to sign to Cody.

Jimmy grated his teeth and placed his hands on his hips, still very much upset over what happened. But he nodded as he had to admit that Ike was probably right. Cody stared at the ground as he kicked the dirt with his left foot. He hated when things escalated to fast between him and one of his friends.

"I'm goin' to see how Lou's doin'. She musta heard everythin that went on out here." Jimmy said and as he passed Cody he patted him on the shoulder. Actually he knew Ike was right.

Cody knew that pat on the shoulder was Jimmy's way of apologizing and nodded. "We better fill in Rachel and Teaspoon what happened. Let's go Ike."

---

Entering the bunk house to face Lou was almost as if facing Kid. Jimmy took in a deep breath and walked up to the tiny rider that had nestled herself on Kid's bunk.

"Hey" Jimmy spoke. He saw her bloodshed eyes and knew she had been crying.

"I don't want to talk about it" She said and turned her back towards him.

Jimmy took a chair and sat down in front of Kid's bunk.

"Then just listen" He said and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "Now I don't pretend to know what's going on inside that head of his, but I think Teaspoon's wrong. I won't believe for one second that Kid's losing it. He's just frettin' over somethin' and we just have to sit tight till he's ready to talk about it, 's all."

Lou suddenly sat up straight, her feet loudly stomping the floor and her hands gripping the edge of the bunk bed facing Jimmy with an angry look on her face.

"And what if you're wrong and Teaspoon _is_ right? I'll never forgive myself or anyone else if anything happens to him!" She spat angrily.

Jimmy was getting very annoyed. From the moment Teaspoon had talked to them he knew from the depths of his being that Teaspoon was wrong. Kid was just being his stubborn, introvert, brooding self like he always was when he was fretting over something and had everyone worried sick about him like always when he was in one of his moods.

Only this time Kid had taken things too far. Everyone was at each others throat and walking on eggs trying not to make matters worse. But what matters? And how did were they supposed to know if they weren't making things worse?

"Lou, to tell you the truth I don't know what the right thing to do is anymore and I'm getting tired of all this guessin'. The only person that knows and can put an end to all this crazy talk is out on the planes; ridin' his horse into oblivion and leavin' us here worried sick about him! Jimmy retorted as he made wild hand gestures.

Something snapped in Lou. She knew Jimmy was right.

"Jimmy, I don't know what to think anymore" She sobbed. "After the doc left when I asked him what was wrong he told me the doc said he needed to talk more. And here's Teaspoon sayin' the exact opposite."

Jimmy crouched down in front of her and met her eyes "Then I think we need to go pay that doctor Fuller a little visit to clarify things."

---

Kid rode Katy as fast as she could. He needed to get as far away as he possibly could from them. He felt a damn fool for allowing himself to get hurt by people he thought he could trust. How could he be so stupid to think anyone would care?

He had learnt that lesson the hard way when he was a child and he allowed himself to think this time things were different, that he had found a place where people cared about him. A place where he thought he found love. The fact that he was feeling this betrayed and miserable was his own stupid fault.

As he continued chastising himself for what he believed were mistakes and misjudgments he wasn't allowed to make in the first place he pulled Katy to a halt. He dismounted his trusty mare but didn't pat her lovingly for taking him where he wanted to go as he usually did. He was too angry to even care about her at this point. The anger rose with each incident from the past he pulled out of context. Jimmy's taunting attitude towards him, Cody's wise cracks, Buck and Ike always siding with each other and most of all Lou's defensive position towards him.

Now having reached his boiling point he started pacing around, one hand rubbing his mouth the other on his hip, completely oblivious to his surroundings. He needed to release some of this anger and the only way he knew how was to smash something to smithereens but he couldn't.

On top of how miserable he already felt he was scared to death not knowing how to find another outlet to vent his rising anger. Under no circumstance would allow himself to resort to violence; afraid that if he'd do it once he wouldn't be able to control himself in the future and end up hurting people the people he loved in the process.

He could feel his chest tighten again and the airflow stemmed like it had before. This time his lack of oxygen and the anger boiling inside him caused a massive panic attack that hit him like a tidal wave.

Grabbing his chest and breaking into a cold sweat when he realized he was all alone in the middle of nowhere he stumbled around trying his best to orientate and find Katy. His sight was blurry from the tears that started to well up in his eyes when he fell over what seemed to be the dead stump of a tree.

He fell down on his back, but instead of his body hitting the hard, rocky surface he felt a sharp, stabbing pain in his right shoulder blade. The little air he had managed to inhale before he tripped was violently pressed out of his lungs as the pain took over his entire body and he struggled to refill them with much needed air.

Overcome with the surging pain and not knowing what caused it he tried to get up from the highly uncomfortable position he was in. He also couldn't breath and started gurgling blood. He felt he wasn't able to move and reached behind his shoulder to find out what was holding him back. To his shock he realized he fell on to a branch of the dead stump and had punctured his shoulder blade.

Now fully in survival mode he grabbed his arm and clenched his teeth together. If he was to live to see another day he needed to free himself and get help. Afraid that by heaving himself off the branch he would cause more damage or bleed to death he braced himself to break off the piece that had speared him. One swift move to the left and he heard a loud snapping sound and felt an overwhelming pain that caused him to gag.

Finally free to move and get help he crawled on hands and knees to where he believed Katy was. Each move intensifying the burning pain and making it harder and harder to breath he managed to reach her but collapsed into unconsciousness when he tried to get up on his two feet.

Taking in only an occasional ragged and gurgling breath, his paint mare watched over him as he lay there to die.

---


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Buck sighed as he made his way back to the station. His evening with Fay had been absolutely wonderful. Everything had been perfect. She wore the most beautiful dress he had ever laid eyes upon, accessorized with some light jewelry and matching purse. He felt slightly uncomfortable for he thought everyone's eye was fixed on him. It was common knowledge most people in town were not at all delighted to have an Indian, or half breed for that matter, in their presence. But Buck quickly shook of that feeling when he laid eyes upon the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. And she was all his this evening.

When he first saw her he felt slightly underdressed and scared that he was not able to live up to her expectations; instantly regretting he decided to have dinner in town. But his fears were unfounded as she easily accepted his offered arm and they strolled through town before sitting down for dinner. They laughed and talked about everything and anything as Buck marveled at how gracious Fay actually was. Watching her eat, drink, and wrinkle her nose when he laughed was a true delight that Buck never thought he would be lucky enough to experience. But tonight he was the luckiest man alive, of that there was not doubt.

When they had finished their meal Buck offered to go for another stroll, however just outside town where there would be no scrutinizing, judging eyes and he would be able to give her his undivided attention. He led her just out of town, close to where her parents had built them a new home which coincidentally had a spectacularly breathtaking view of the sun set. They shared their last hour snuggled up together watching the sun go down and the success of this enchanting evening was sealed with a sweet, lovingly kiss.

Buck didn't want to part, but had already taken her out longer than he was supposed to. Not wanting to get in trouble with her parents he brought her home safely and apologized profusely for being late. Her mother had smiled as she glanced at her radiant daughter and gave her husband a tender look that said 'go easy on him, look at how happy he made our little girl'. Fay's father grunted something like it better not happen a second time, but Buck didn't care. At least there was going to be a second time and for that he was grateful.

Not quite ready to head back home and suffer the cross-examination from the boys he decided to take the scenic route back home. It had started to get dark but the brightly colored sky provided just enough light for him to make his way back to the station and enjoy the nature around him. Still very much emerged in his own thoughts a neighing horse nearby caught his attention.

Slightly alarmed he turned his horse around to where the sound came from. Buck was careful as around these parts when the sun went down the low lives seemed to come out from their hiding places and the last thing Buck wanted was to get into trouble.

When he thought he was getting close, he dismounted and went further on foot trying to keep the element of surprise to his advantage by being as quiet and low as possible. The horse neighed once more giving Buck a good indication he was very close and crouched down before proceeding. Hiding behind a bush he cleared away some of the branches to get a better look at who was behind it before he announced his presence. An all but too familiar hide made Buck jump up without hesitation.

"Katy!" Buck exclaimed and rushed over to the paint mare.

Having reached Kid's beloved horse he immediate noticed the still body of her proud owner. Kid lay flat on his stomach, his arms and legs spread out with a thick branch sticking out between his shoulder blades.

"Oh Kid, what have you gotten yourself into." Buck muttered as he lowered himself to hear if his friend was still breathing.

Buck's heart stopped when he initially heard nothing when he hung over Kid's pale face but let out the breath he had been holding when he heard his friend silently take in short, shallow breaths of air.

He knew he needed to get Kid help, and he needed to get it fast. The shallow breathing was anything but steady and occasionally he would make dangerously choking noises that were accompanied with blood trickling from his mouth. Buck acted fast and decided that Fay's house was closest. If he could at least get Kid there he would have someone looking after him so he could go and fetch Doctor Fuller.

Grabbing Kid and moving him so he could get a better grip on him caused the wounded rider to start choking on his own blood and let out a strangled moan. Buck startled and instantly get him go, turning him onto his side and lifted his chin up hoping it would allow Kid to at least take one or two sufficient gasps of air.

For a moment it only seemed to make matters worse as Kid's body jerked violently trying to adjust to the pain that flared by the movement and the inability of taking in sufficient air to keep his organs going.

Buck started to panic, his friend seeming to die right there in his arms "Kid you listen to me, don't you dare die on me tonight!" He spoke through clenched teeth holding his friend close to him.

"I need you to be strong and hold on a little while longer. I'm gonna get you help I promise, but you need to hang on for me you hear?"

Buck allowed himself to believe that Kid had listened when the uncontrolled jerking stopped, however the wheezing, painful moans that escaped Kid's mouth tore right through Buck's soul. In an instant he decided that consciousness was a state of pure torture that Buck was more than happy to relieve him from and quickly searched for one of the pressure points that his older brother had taught him to look for that would render Kid unconscious in a second.

Grateful that he was now able to move his wounded friend around without having to feel the burning pain he was in earlier Buck managed to get him onto Katy and secured him enough to prevent him from sliding off. Swiftly taking Katy's rains he made way to Fay's house hoping he would make it in time and get help. As if fully aware of the precious and fragile load Katy was carrying she adjusted her strut and simply refused to walk any faster despite Buck's relentless tugging at her rains.

---

"Oh my God, Buck, what happened!" Fay gasped

Hearing his daughter scream Fay's father, Andrew came rushing out onto the porch followed on foot by his wife Christine.

"He's a friend of mine from the express station, I don't know what happened but he's hurt real bad. Get him inside and keep him alive until I get back with the doc, please…" Buck explained hurriedly.

"Let's get that boy down from that horse and into the house. Christine, I need you to get towels and some hot water" Andrew ordered without hesitation.

With Andrew's help they managed to get Kid into one of the bedrooms and carefully placed him down on the bed. Kid seemed to snap out of his unconscious state as he started moving and moaning ragged breaths. Buck stood helplessly nailed to the floor as he watched his friend in anguish while Christine tried to calm him down by dabbing a cold cloth on his forehead.

Andrew glanced at Buck's frozen posture and immediately sprung into action by grabbing him by the arms and blocking his view from Kid "Buck, we need to get this boy a doctor, you understand? You need to focus or your friend will die otherwise"

Buck nodded and was grateful for the fact that Andrew had managed to keep himself together.

"Is there anything else I can do?" Andrew asked Buck, eyes still firmly locked on to his and hands still gripping his arms.

Buck thought for a moment and nodded "Ride out to the station and tell the others what happened"

Fay jumped up putting one hand on her father's and one on Buck's arm "Pa, you stay here with Ma. I'll ride out, I'll be faster" She offered.

Her father nodded in agreement. The way things were looking this boy might not live long. The least they could do was to get the people that cared about him here as fast a possible in case things took a turn for the worse. Buck and Fay were ready to leave the room when Christine called out Buck's name. Turning around to face the older woman that tried her best to keep his friend as comfortable as possible he paused to let her ask the question she longed to ask.

"I don't now what to call him?" She asked with a sad face.

"Kid… We call him Kid" he answered in a soft voice and turned around grabbing Fay by the hand leading her out of the room.

---

"Jimmy, you ain't going nowwhere and neither are you Louise!" Rachel bellowed at the two riders who were saddling up.

"I'm sorry Rachel, but I sure can't sit back and do nothin'. This new doc knows more 'bout Kid's so called condition and I intend to find out exactly what that is" Jimmy retorted.

The barn door swung open a little further followed by Teaspoon's booming voice." Now where d'you two think you're goin'?

"See doc Fuller" Lou answered flatly, not looking up to face the old station master.

"Didn't I make myself perfectly clear when I said ya'll are s'posed to stay away from this here situation? Teaspoon brawled

Jimmy was doing his last check on his saddle and then mounted his horse "You most certainly did"

"Then I ask you again… where do you think you're goin'?"

"To see doc Fuller and find out what it is he really needs" Jimmy answered and kicked his horse into a gallop.

Lou mounted Lightning and gave Rachel and Teaspoon an apologetic look "I'm sorry, but I have to know." and rode off to join Jimmy.

As Teaspoon and Rachel looked after the two young ones ride out Teaspoon muttered "I know you do sweetheart… I know you do"

---

Buck rode like the wind, although the doctor's office was close by he felt he had to ride for miles before he finally reached it. Cursing when he found there were no lights burning inside he thought feverishly where he would be able to find Doctor Fuller.

He grabbed the first passerby and asked him if he knew where to find the doctor. The rattled man taken completely aback by the sudden grasp and the wild look on Bucks face merely pointed at the hotel.

Not wanting to waste any more time looking Buck took a sprint towards the hotel and vigorously rang the front desk bell at the unmanned desk. A young fellow wearing glasses and neatly combed hair appeared from out back carefully eyed the panicking Buck with a scared look on his face. Realizing he was covered in Kid's blood he made even more haste tellin the clerk he was in desperate need of the doctor.

"I need the doctor, he's staying here right?" Buck panted.

The clerk nodded.

"What room" He demanded pounding his hand on the desk.

The boy looked absolutely terrified and Buck knew he was making a spectacle of himself but he didn't care. He needed to know the damn room number

"Dammit, what room!" Buck boomed.

The clerk still not having found his voice held up three fingers.

"Room three… ok room three" He chanted and bolted up the stairs.

Having found room three in an instance he knocked until his knuckles hurt. It didn't take long for the door to open and the familiar and kind face of Doctor Fuller appeared.

"It's Kid" Buck blurted out not giving the doctor time for a polite good evening or ask questions.

Thankfully Doctor Fuller didn't need much urging to get moving because within second he had his boots and coat on and was checking the supplies in his medical bag.

"You might wanna stop by the office and make sure you have all you need" Buck suggested." He's losing a lot of blood"

Doctor Fuller froze for a moment as he registered what the young man had just told him. He expected Kid to have relapsed into having another seizure, but that never involved blood.

"What exactly happened?" The doctor asked.

"I'll tell you on the way to the office" Buck said as he grabbed the doc by his arms and pulled him out of the hotel room.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"He's not doing well Andrew" Christine whispered to her husband. "He's starting to burn up pretty bad and the wound already seems infected; if the doctor doesn't come soon I don't know how much more he can take."

As Christine turned around to face Kid Andrew put his hands on his wife's' shoulders and squeezed them slightly. He knew his wife suffered along with the young boy whishing she could do more for him, she had always had great empathy for those in pain.

"You're doin' all you can Chrissie, let's pray it will be enough to keep him alive until the doctor arrives"

The two continued to watch Kid closely in wait for the doctor to arrive. When Christine saw that he clutched one hand around a blanket so hard his knuckles had turned white she moved away from her husband and sat down next to Kid who had started to shiver uncontrollably.

Gently unclasping his hand she slipped her own hand into his while dabbing a cold cloth on his burning forehead.

"I know it hurts, but it will all be over soon. I promise" She spoke softly. "Buck rode out to get the doctor and I need you to hang in there until she comes back with him.

Kid did not respond, and Christine became even more concerned. When Buck had brought him in, even though his breathing was shallow, he was responsive and managed to acknowledge whenever he was spoken to. Now it seemed he was slipping away. The occasional shallow wheeze and the intense shivering were the only two things that indicated he was still alive, but when the tight grip around her hand started to loosen and the pause between each intake of breath extended Christine knew she he'd given up.

"Andrew, we're losing him!" She shouted out to her husband.

Andrew rushed towards the bedside and knelt beside his wife. He put a hand on top of Kid's head and leaned over to his ear.

"Don't you give up son, Buck should be back with the doctor any minute now and my daughter rode out to get your friends at the station. They need you to fight for your life, so you fight dammit!"

Kid finally responded by fiercely squeezing Christine's hand. Relieved she let out the breath she had been holding and gave her husband a faint smile.

"Looks like he listened." She said with a grimace while she looked from her husband to the hand she was holding.

Andrew nodded somewhat reassured and then looked at the pained expression on the young man's face.

"Chris, look…. he's trying to say something"

Both she and Andrew leaned in closer in hopes to be able to hear what took Kid so much effort to say.

"….L….. Lou" Kid wheezed almost inaudibly.

---

When Jimmy and Lou reached the doctor's office Lou noticed the doctor was busy saddling his horse. Slightly disappointed she turned to look at Jimmy; it seemed they had rode out for nothing as it looked like the doctor was in a rush to be somewhere where he was needed.

"We don't know where the doc's goin'. Maybe he can spare us a minute or two" Jimmy said having read Lou's mind.

The two dismounted but Jimmy motioned Lou to stay put. He would be the one to ask if the doctor had time to talk. Lou nodded and stayed behind with the horses.

"Ehm… excuse me… Doctor Fuller?" Jimmy started. "I was wonderin' if you'd be able to spare a minute or two…"

Doctor Fuller quickly turned around to face the young man that had addressed him and immediately shook his head.

"I'm terribly sorry, but I'm on my way to see a patient in critical condition. I'm afraid you'll have to come back tomorrow morning. Unless it is a pressing matter, please tell me where I need to go and I'll be there as soon as I can"

Jimmy noticed the alarmed expression on the doctor's face and shook his head. Whoever was in need of a doctor obviously was in very bad shape Jimmy gathered.

"Nothing that can't wait till the morning'. Jimmy said and politely tipped the rim of his hat.

Just as Jimmy was about to turn around to walk back to Lou and the horses he heard a familiar voice coming from inside the doctor's office.

"I've packed everything you asked me to." Buck said as he walked out the door.

Lou recognized the voice, emerged from behind the horses and walked into a blood covered Buck. Unable to speak both a completely horrified Jimmy and Lou stared at their Kiowa friend who was equally shocked to see his two friends. Thinking they came baring bad news concerning Kid, Buck fired a series of questions at them, completely unaware they had left before Fay had reached them to tell them what had happened to Kid.

"What are you two doing here? Is he still breathing? Is Kid still alive?" Buck rattled on anxiously.

At the mention of Kid's name Lou snapped out of her initial shock of seeing Buck covered in blood. Then a horrible feeling crept up as she came to realize the blood her Kiowa friend was covered in was not his.

"What do you mean is Kid still breathin'…?" Lou asked with a shaky voice.

Buck suddenly had a puzzled look on his face "You mean you don't know? Fay didn't tell you?

"Didn't Fay tell us what? How was she to know we were comin' to see doc Fuller?" Jimmy asked confused.

Buck sighed heavily "…You left before she reached the station" he muttered disheartened and ran his hand through his hair.

The horrible feeling Lou felt earlier instantly turned into panic as she exchanged looks between Buck and Doctor Fuller.

"Buck, you need to tell me what's goin' on" She urged shaken.

"Lou, Kid's hurt pretty badly. He took a fall and landed on the branch of a tree… we need to get the doctor to Fay's house immed-"

But Buck wasn't able to finish his sentence. Lou abruptly turned around, untied the reins, jumped in the saddle and rode off in a blaze towards the homestead where she was told her badly injured Kid would be.

"Lou! Wait" Jimmy called after her but he knew it was useless.

"We need to get there as soon as we can" Doctor Fuller commented. "Buck, you have everything I asked you?

Buck nodded and mounted his horse. "Let's go"

---

Not bothering to wait for her horse to come to a full stop Lou flung herself off the saddle and bolted towards the front door. When she rode up to the house she noticed there was light in one of the rooms upstairs and figured that probably was where they were tending to Kid.

She immediately ran up the stairs but paused when she had reached the door to the bedroom. Slowly she pushed open the door and stood motionless when she saw Kid stretched out on his side on the bed with a piece of wood sticking out from his back. She noticed he was hardly breathing and trembled constantly.

"Who are you? Where is the doctor?" Andrew asked surprised at the unannounced and unexpected appearance at the entrance.

"Kid…" She merely whispered and hurried to his side.

Andrew protectively pulled Christine away from the bed and watched Lou take of her hat and gently run her hand along Kid's cheek.

"Oh Kid… you're gonna be fine now. I'm here and the doc is on his way." She said gently and planted a soft kiss on his clammy forehead

"…L..ou…" Kid breathed.

Kid stirred and tried to move causing a new tidal wave of excruciating pain to which his body immediately responded to. The shallow wheezing again was replaced with labored gurgling gasps of air accompanied with blood running from his mouth and the shivering initially caused by the spiking fever had intensified due to the incapacity to handle the pain.

"What's happenin' to him?!" Lou cried out to Andrew and Christine.

Christine was about to try to calm Kid down when the gurgling and the shivering suddenly stopped. There was nothing but silence in the room as Lou stared at the still form in front of her. With shaking hands she touched his cheek and reached out to grab his hand completely unaware she had hot tears running down her cheek.

"No… NO! Kid… don't you die on me! Don't you dare die on me ya hear!

---


	11. Chapter 11

_HA! Not Sunday, but Monday! Not entirely true to my word, but hey… I did the best I could._

_I thought it was about time to put poor, sweet, handsome Kid was put out of his misery so he can finally say what it is that's been bothering him so much. And for you all to finally find out who that somebody to talk to is going to be…. Any guesses? Anyone???_

_Well, enjoy, this was one of the chapters that practically wrote itself. _

---

Chapter 11

Lou startled when a hand was placed on her shoulder but she didn't move. She had settled herself along side the bed and rested her head against Kid's chest, idly rubbing a thumb along the back of his hand.

"Lou… the doctor's here, you need to move so he can help" Buck gently said.

Lou buried herself closer against Kid's chest and painfully swallowed away the upwelling tears.

"It's too late… you're too late…" She choked.

Doctor Fuller crouched down beside Lou, opened his bag and grabbed a funny looking instrument he plugged in his ears. He worked his way around Lou and carefully placed the end of the instrument against Kid's bare chest and listened intently. Suddenly the doctor acted fast.

"Boys! I need you to get her out of here. Buck, go down and bring me the bag I told you to pack. I need more hot water, clean cloths and someone here to assist!" He ordered.

"He's still alive?!" Christine cried out while she pushed herself out from her husbands embrace

Doctor Fuller nodded "He's still breathing, barely but he's still breathing. Will you stay here and help?"

"Of course doctor" She hastily replied. "I'll go get the water and the clean cloths."

During all of this Lou was still in a complete daze. She easily let Jimmy lift her to her feet and guide her out the bedroom while the doctor had started to unpack his instruments and Christine and Buck ran down to get what they were asked for. Andrew followed the two and made sure they had something to eat and drink as they waited downstairs.

"Here, it's not much but it'll do you good" Andrew said while he offered Lou a cup of water and some corn bread.

Still numbed by course of events she took the cup from Andrew and munched on a small piece of bread.

"This has been some night, now hasn't it." Andrew continued to make conversation. "Of all the things I've seen in my live, this most certainly is one that will be hard to forget."

"You've been very kind takin' him in and caring for him till the doc came" Jimmy said.

"Well, it was the least we could do to help a friend of the man courting my daughter. I'm sorry, in all this turmoil we didn't exactly have the change to introduce ourselves. I'm Andrew Turnhill, and my wife Christine is upstairs helping the good doctor with your friend Kid."

"I'm Jimmy" Jimmy said extending his hand "and this is…-"

"Lou" Andrew finished his sentence for him. "I know, Kid mentioned her name just before she came here"

Lou looked up from the plate with cornbread she was staring at.

"He did?"

Andrew nodded "He almost gave up while we were waiting for the doctor so I told him his friends needed him to fight and that's when he mentioned your name. It took him a great deal of effort to do so, but he managed to hold on. Now I understand why. What is your real name young lady?"

"Louise…" She answered softly.

"I whish we had the opportunity to meet under better circumstances Louise"

Lou tightly clenched her jaws together and then excused herself.

"I need to get some air" She muttered.

Jimmy gave Andrew and apologetic look but he put up his hands dismissively.

"I gather they're close. Kid and Louise I mean" Andrew commented.

"Sometimes it seems they can't make up their minds on what it is they want to be, but in general you could say they're pretty close" Jimmy answered.

Andrew smiled wistfully "That sounds a lot like Christine and I when we were young. If they're meant for each other they'll figure it out some day"

Jimmy shook his head. The way things were looking right now, some day seemed further away than ever. Even though the two of them drove everyone around them up the wall some times, he knew they meant the world to each other. All they had to do was be patient and wait for them to figure out the same. Then something Andrew came to learn jumped to Jimmy's mind.

"Ehm, Mr. Turnhill…about Lou bein' a girl. She works with us for the express; can I ask you to keep what you know between us?" Jimmy asked hesitantly.

"Know what exactly" Andrew answered with a wink.

Jimmy smiled faintly. Andrew was a good and kind man. If Fay was anything like her father Jimmy could surely understand why Buck took such a fancy to her.

"I best go see how Lou's holdin' up" Jimmy said.

"I'm sure she could use a good friend right about now" Andrew answered.

Jimmy slowly opened the front door and found Lou sitting on the porch steps.

"Want some company?" He asked carefully.

"I want Kid to be alright" she pleaded.

"I know Lou, and he will be. The doc's with him now."

"That ain't what I meant!" She suddenly said with raised voice. "This is my entire fault! If I hadn't been all indifferent you wouldn't have said the stupid things you did and he wouldn't be in this situation in the first place!

"Lou… that ain't-"

"Yes it is and you know it Jimmy!" She bellowed and threw him a pointed look.

That last comment rubbed Jimmy entirely the wrong way and before he could help himself his own worry and frustration expressed themselves in harsh spoken words.

"Now just hold on there Lou, none of us told him to run off and get himself speared to a tree branch! He's been actin' weird for some time now leavin' us completely in the dark and now you're sayin' it's our fault he got hurt?!" Jimmy retorted incredulously. "If he weren't so incredibly bullheaded and for once would just come out with what's been eatin' him all this time we'd all be at the bunkhouse enjoyin' a good nights sleep instead of worryin' ourselves to death over him!

Infuriated Lou jumped up from where she sat and was about to give Jimmy a good piece of her mind when a heart tearing scream emanated from the bedroom window. A scream so loud and gut wrenching it made Lou sick to her stomach as she listened to the echoes of her lover's pain ripple and then died out into the night.

Her breath faltered and her knees went week while she tried her best to banish the echoing scream from her mind. Jimmy reached out for her and pulled her into a tight embrace. He too had been shook up by the ice cold cry of pain knowing that it was his best friend who suffered. Lou wrapped her arms around his neck and gratefully let him whisper words of comfort, all the while silently praying her Kid would be alright.

---

Buck was asked to step out of the room when he had brought Doctor Fuller the supplies he was going to need but didn't want to go down to join Jimmy and Lou just yet. He deliberately had left the bedroom door slightly ajar so he could see through the split and watch as the doctor and Christine worked on Kid.

He saw the doctor pull out the biggest needle Buck had even seen in his life and clean the right side of Kid's chest before he thrust the needle right into his chest. The initial horror after witnessing the brutal act was immediately replaced with relief when he heard a plopping sound and heard Kid take in a big gulp of air. Christine barely managed to keep Kid still while the doctor removed the syringe but left the needle inside.

Christine's face showed a great deal of disgust and it didn't take long for her to express her concerns to Doctor Fuller.

"Can't you at least give him something?! The boy's in pain!" Buck heard her hiss at the doctor.

"His lung collapsed and I don't know how deep that branch is embedded in the flesh or if it punctured his lung, until that branch is removed I need him fully conscious or else he'll surely die. If he's unconscious I won't know if anything is wrong once I've removed it." He heard Doctor Fuller answer in a business like tone.

"Surely you're not going to-"

"I'll do anything to keep this boy alive!" Doctor Fuller bit back furiously "And this is what it's going to take to do so! Can I count on you to keep him steady when I remove the branch?!"

Christine swallowed back the angry tears but nodded none the less. She sunk down next to Kid's head beside the bed and firmly clasped her hands around his wrists but Kid was painfully aware what they were about to do and forcefully resisted.

Without thinking Buck burst back into the room and stretched himself along Kid's legs and hip as he pushed down his body weight while firmly pulling at the edges of the bed.

"On three" The doctor stated when the felt Kid was restrained enough to be able to pull out the branch.

"One… two… three!!!"

---

The pain caused by removing the tree branch was paralyzing but after it was done Kid stopped feeling any form of pain. He could hear Christine sobbing and apologizing profusely for making him endure such unbearable suffering and could somewhere in the distance make out Buck's apparent features.

The seconds that passed seemed to last an eternity as he could feel the doctor treating the flesh around the wound. But he didn't feel any pain. Just a burning sensation and annoyance every time Doctor Fuller touched another part of what he knew must have been a gaping wound. Breathing felt awkward; it was as if he wasn't the one taking in the oxygen, but he was grateful that he finally could. After hours of what felt like being trapped he was finally free.

Kid watched Buck turn around at the bedroom door and locked eyes with him. He wanted to speak, let Buck know to tell Lou and everyone else he was going to be fine, that he was sorry for all the trouble and worry he caused. He tried opening his mouth but something damp suddenly covered his nose and mouth and within seconds everything went black.

---

"The damage seems limited, I'll need to keep the wound open to prevent the wound from infecting around his punctured lung. It should heal nicely over the next few days. The exhaustion should keep him under for a while, his body will need to rest." Doctor Fuller explained.

"He is under no circumstances allowed to move for twenty four hours at least, but just in case he wakes up please use this" He continued and handed Christine a brown bottle "use it wisely. His lung is fragile and too much of this could do a lot of damage"

At that point Christine no longer had the willpower to constrain herself and as she took the bottle of fluids from the doctor she burst into tears.

Buck had no desire to stay in the room any longer and had decided to tell Jimmy and Lou Kid had made it through. When came downstairs and didn't find his friends sitting with Andrew he raised his eyebrows to which Andrew immediately responded by pointing at the door. Buck gave a curt nod in thanks and gave a reassuring smile to let the kind man know everything was going to be just fine. Andrew let out a deep stalling breath and sunk back into his chair where he raised his eyes to the heavens and muttered a silent prayer of thanks.

---


	12. Chapter 12

When Buck opened the door he found Jimmy leaning against the porch staring into the night. The soft squeak the door made when Buck had opened it made Jimmy whirl around with a look of horror on his face, afraid that his Kiowa friend bore bad news.

"The doc got the branch out." Buck said timidly.

"I heard…" Jimmy responded not trying to be funny. "Is he gonna make it?"

"I don't know. I left as soon as it was done. He's in pretty bad shape Jimmy"

Jimmy nodded and stared at his boots. He felt very much responsible for what had happened to Kid and had been struggling with the thought that his friend might not make it, despite the doctor's efforts. The very thought of losing one of his best friends made him sick to his stomach.

"Where's Lou?" Buck asked breaking Jimmy's chain of thoughts.

"Over at Katy. She's takin' this pretty hard" He answered.

Buck nodded and walked up towards Lou who absentmindedly ran her hand along Katy's flank.

"Lou…" Buck started as he tried to make eye contact.

"I'm takin' her back to the station"

Buck frowned in confusion "What are you talking about?"

"Katy. I'm takin' her back." She answered in a hollow voice.

"You're going back to the station?!" Buck asked incredulously "Why?!"

"Everythin's fine. He'll be fine when Katy's tended to and safely in her stall. He'll want her to be tended to and I need to make sure she is." She muttered while hot tears ran down her cheek.

Buck was at a total loss; Lou's incoherent mumbling made him feel more helpless than he had ever felt before in his life. Unable to say anything to comfort her he lowered his head and walked back to Jimmy who still stood leaning against the porch. The look on Buck's face upon returning from Lou told Jimmy everything he needed to know, she was falling to pieces and there was no helping her.

Right at that moment the front door opened and Doctor Fuller stepped out, wiping his hands on a damp cloth.

"If you boys don't mind joining Mr. Turnhill inside…." He said with a serious face.

Buck and Jimmy looked at each other and then turned their eyes to the doctor.

"Ehm…Lou…." Jimmy started, motioning towards the painted mare.

"She ain't doing to well, you know, handling things…" Buck finished his sentence.

Doctor Fuller glanced past the two boys and watched Louise prepare Katy for the ride back to the way station. He focused on the boys again and slightly tilted his head towards the front door.

"You boys go inside, I'll talk to her"

Buck and Jimmy obeyed without question, grateful Lou would at least be in capable hands. Slowly the doctor approached Louise and rubbed Katy's nose once he had reached her.

"That must have been quite a scare" Doctor Fuller said, not beating around the bush.

Startled Lou looked up and looked the doctor square in the eyes.

"I'd think you would want to know how he's doing, and I believe you had a question for me earlier."

Lou frowned, not exactly sure what he meant with his last words.

"At the office, before you learnt what happened to Kid" He reminded her gently.

She nodded, ran the back of her sleeve over her cheeks, wiped away the tears she had shed but wasn't able to say anything. Feeling too embarrassed to say anything to the doctor in the current condition she was in.

"Why don't you come back inside with me so I can explain to you what happened and answer any and all questions you might have" The doctor offered while he held out his hand.

Lou put one hand over her mouth in hopes to smother the sob that threatened to escape, but failed miserably. Doctor Fuller put one reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"He'd want Katy to be-. " She choked but Doctor Fuller wouldn't let her finish her sentence.

"Why don't we go inside and ask him? I'll tell you what happened and then you can go and ask him what he wants. How does that sound?"

Lou nodded, again using the back of her already tear drenched sleeve to wipe her nose and cheeks.

Once inside and everyone, including Christine, was seated the doctor had started to inform everyone. Trying his best to keep things as simple while leaving out the bloody details he explained how the next forty-eight hours would be crucial to his recovery and what he had done to ensure Kid had the best change of survival. But the questioning looks of at least three of the listeners told him he would have to be more graphic in his explanations. And so he got creative.

"Everyone has lungs. We use need them to breath and we need to breath to stay alive. Your lungs are here" his index finger drew an oval on each side of his chest "And when we inhale, they fill with air, and when we exhale they deflate"

Doctor Fuller reached for his bag and grabbed a leather pouch from inside.

"Kid's right lung was punctured by the branch, and the branch served as a sort of plug during that time that kept him alive. Here, I'll demonstrate" He continued as he waved the pouch in front of his audience.

Doctor Fuller took a knife and cut a small hole in the pouch. Then he put his finger in the hole and with the other hand squeezed the opening of the pouch together before bringing it to his mouth. Breathing in and out he demonstrated that the pouch inflated and deflated as long as his finger would fill the hole he cut into it.

"Everyone with me so far?" He asked and watched everyone nod in agreement. "Good, now Louise. Before I got here, he stopped breathing didn't he?"

A still very shook up Louise again simply nodded.

"What I think happened was the branch slightly moved, no longer fully embedded in the punctured lung and this happened" He said bringing the pouch back to his mouth.

Doctor fuller breathed in and out a couple of times with his finger still firmly stuck into the pouch before he removed it a little. The next time the doctor inhaled the pouch went completely flat and refused to re-inflate no matter how hard the doctor tried to refill it with air.

Realization of what had occurred within their Southern friend hit the three hard, with Lou in particular when they started at the makeshift lung.

"Oh God…I almost killed him…" Lou breathed heavily. "That happened to him because of me!"

Doctor Fuller was afraid she might have thought his Kid's lung collapsed because she arrived, and he acted on it immediately.

"No, simply trying to breath caused the branch to move, you just happened to be there when it moved out too far." He reassured Lou. "The reason why his lung wouldn't re-inflate was because blood sealed the hole again but not after first leaking into his lung. Trying to inhale was impossible due to the fluids blocking the airway so I had to make sure it would have another way to refill with air."

Lou was grateful for the doctor's words and even more grateful he didn't dwell on her statement that it was all her fault. Even though the whole ordeal sounded like a surreal horror story, it fascinated her immensely and in some weird way comforted her to know what had happened. Doc Barnes had always stuck to a minimum when one of them had been injured and never really answered any other question than if they were going to be alright.

Doctor Fuller grabbed in his bag again and pulled out a needle. Buck cringed already knowing what would happen next.

The doctor reenacted the collapsed lung again, having added some water to the pouch to resemble the fluids blocking the airway and then stuck the needle in the needle in the other side of the leather pouch. As soon as the needle had been pushed through the pouch it slowly expanded and Doctor Fuller showed he was able to inflate and deflate even when he removed his finger.

Everyone at the table watched the good doctor in complete awe, not quite able to comprehend what they had just witnessed. Jimmy exaggerated inhaling and exhaling while placing a hand on his chest while Buck kept staring at the needle sticking out of the leather pouch with a very uneasy look on his face.

"So, that's why you have to leave the needle inside" Christine commented.

Lou jerked her head towards Fay's mother and then back to the doctor. She figured the needle was a temporary thing and here she was told Kid still had that thing inside him.

"He… he still…?" She asked the doctor uncomfortably.

Doctor Fuller nodded slowly and prepared himself to ask her a question in return.

"Would you like to go up and see him?"

Lou turned to look at Jimmy searching for some form of support. He nudged her and gave her a faint smile.

"Go" He whispered.

"Yes… Can I?" She answered.

Doctor Fuller turned to look at Christine. If Lou were to go up into that room, she'd have to clean up.

"You can, but you'll have to be as clean as possible. With his lung exposed he is very susceptive to infections and we'll have to keep that to a minimum."

"You can borrow one of Fay's dresses." Christine immediately offered "They might be a bit large but I'm sure we can find one that'll do. Come, let's get you washed up and dressed"

Lou rose from her chair and followed Christine upstairs. As soon as they were out of sight, the door opened and Fay walked in with Teaspoon on foot.

Teaspoon, who put manners first no matter what, politely took if his hat and greeted the doctor and Andrew in his usual manner before glancing over at his two boys in hopes to find out something on how Kid was doing. When he looked at Buck he saw a soft, reassuring look in his eyes and Jimmy had a lopsided grin on his face.

Teaspoon let out a deep relieved breath and breathed something that sounded like 'Thank the Lord' before he sank down onto one of the empty chairs beside Jimmy.


	13. Chapter 13

---

Lou followed Christine into the room when a sudden wave of panic hit her. Doctor Fuller knew! From the moment he had talked to her outside when she was with Katy he had not once addressed her as a boy. Then she turned to face Christine Turnhill in shame. Lord only knew what this kind woman even thought of her, suddenly realizing she must have scared her half to death when she burst into room dressed like a man, but acting like a woman gone mad.

"I'm sorry…" She muttered in shame. "I can't even imagine what you must think of me, dressed up like a boy and all.

Christine smiled as she poured water into a bowl for Lou to wash up with.

"There isn't much that surprises me anymore these days. You know, my husband can't work full days. He never really recovered from his injuries after that storm, but the work still needed to be done or else we'd lose the house. So I took over. These past few years I've worn more pants than I have dresses." She explained. "So you have nothing to be ashamed of. We all simply do what needs to be done in order to survive."

"All of this?" Lou asked in disbelief "You do all of it?"

Christine nodded with a smile and then told Lou to wash up while she would find a dress for her to wear. When she returned Lou had stripped down to her long johns and had just finished up cleaning herself.

"Here, this should fit. It's and old one from before Fay had left to live with her aunt three years ago but it's clean. And I figured you might need these… Long johns and a dress don't really go together" Christine said in a suggestive tone.

"Thank you" Lou whispered gratefully.

"You're very welcome young lady"

When Christine turned around so Lou could change in private, Lou called out for her.

"It's Louise!" She said hastily.

Christine gave Lou another warm smile "You're very welcome, Louise. Now go and get dressed. I'll see to it the doctor comes up to meet you when you're done."

When Lou opened the door of the room she had used to change she found Doctor Fuller standing in the doorway of the room Kid laid recuperating, watching over him. Tentatively she walked up to the doctor but when she saw the still, pale form of Kid lay on the bed she lost all reservations and rushed past the doctor to sit at his side.

Gently she raised one hand towards an errand lock of hair on his forehead but instantly drew back when her eye caught the needle sticking out from his chest. Unsure of what she was allowed to do she turned her head and searched for Doctor Fuller.

"He's asleep now, and in case he wakes up I'll have something for the pain." Doctor Fuller answered her questioning eyes. "Five minutes and then I'll come to get you. He's been through a lot and needs his rest"

Lou watched the doctor leave and turned her attention back to the motionless Kid lying on his side. She finally gathered enough courage to softly trace her hand along his cheek when she suddenly realized this was the first time she'd actually seen so much of him. Sweet, gentle Kid with his strong principles hardly ever showed more of himself than he thought was proper whenever Lou was around.

Overwhelmed with the love she felt for him she silently cursed the scar the wound would undoubtedly leave behind on his shoulder blade and blamed herself for being the one that had caused it.

She pushed that last thought away when her eyes caught something else she had never seen before. A long deep scar that ran from just above his right side on his hip, over his abdomen and downwards all the way disappearing under the brim of his pants. Lou briefly held her breath as it hit her how little she actually knew about the man she thought she loved. He hardly mentioned much about his past and she felt the scar was part of the reason he never did.

Gently tracing the scar until there was no more healed up skin to touch she moved her hand up his torso and leaned in to carefully place a soft kiss on his dry lips.

"You get better so you can start tellin' me what's been botherin' ya so much lately." She whispered in his ear.

Placing another soft kiss on his forehead she rose and went back to meet the others.

---

Three days flew by like they were minutes instead of seventy-two hours. Kid recovered nicely under strict supervision of Christine and Andrew when Doctor Fuller finally found him fit enough to travel back to the station where he could further recover from the incurred injury.

Every chance Lou had she rode up to the homestead to sit by his side and talk about every day things that happened at the station. He'd awakened about eighteen hours after the branch had been removed and had been in a lot of pain since not being much company to whoever came to visit and that included Lou. As hard as it was on her seeing him recover physically but regress emotionally she stuck by him until she was told he was coming home.

Not able to thank Andrew and Christine enough for their hospitality and care for the Kid Teaspoon and the boys offered to help around the homestead to relieve Christine of some hard labor work so she could spend more time with her husband and daughter, which she finally, after a lot of protest, accepted.

Once in Rachel's care, Kid had grown weary of the never relenting pain he felt but still hadn't spoken a single word to anyone, having left all the of them completely in the dark and once again worried sick about him. Lou took it hard and withdrew herself more from the rest with each passing day and the time she spent with Kid grew shorter while her time spent on chores increased.

Finally, it was Cody who no longer had the patience to wait for his Southern friend to open up. Things were taking way too long for him to return to normal.

"I don't care what he's been through Rachel! This has gone on far too long now!" Cody bellowed at the housekeeper.

"Cody, he's still ain't well. It's only been a week and he can't even sit up straight yet!

You gotta give 'em more time!" she retorted angrily.

Cody clenched his teeth tightly together "He's ain't the only one hurtin' here and it's time somebody told him that'"

As Cody marched up to the room where Kid had resided since his return he threw his hands up in the air and took in a large breath of air.

"Ready or not… here I come!!!" Cody roared.

The boys and Lou came running from the bunkhouse when they heard Rachel and Cody scream at each other and all of them feared the worst when they heard the Cody's taunting exclamation upon entering the house.

Jimmy made a run for the house but was held back by Rachel who told all of them to stay put while she would see to it Kid was looked after and assured them she'd send Cody back out as soon as possible. The riders settled down on the porch hoping Rachel knew what she was doing.

---

"Kid I've had enough of this!" Cody barked as barged in the room. "This I-ain't-talking-stunt is getting' mighty old now and frankly I came here to tell ya you can stop now."

Kid stared at Cody with a deeply furrowed brow, placing a hand over his chest and breathing heavily. Cody bursting in like he had made him bolt right up and caused a overwhelmingly sharp pain that almost made him choke on his own breath. Cody knew Kid was hurting bad because of the way he startled him but he didn't care and wasn't afraid to tell Kid that he didn't.

"Talk!" Cody barked again "Speak! Yell! Shoot me, for the love of God do anything other than lie there and look at me like you don't care 'bout nothin anymore!"

Breathing unevenly Kid did nothing but stare at Cody.

"Dammit Kid! You're killin' yourself and us along with ya! Please… I'm beggin'you please…. What on Gods green earth happened that you can't even bring yourself to talk about it?! Cody pleaded.

For minutes the two just stared at each other without either of them breathing another word. Finally Cody broke the stare and gave up.

"Fine. Then don't talk and see if I give a damn anymore… but turning Lou away just ain't right Kid. She needs to know, you owe her at least that" He said dejectedly and walked away.

"Nobody ever gave a damn to begin with" Kid suddenly spoke with a hoarse voice.

Cody whirled around and looked completely astonished.

"Say what?" Cody asked.

"Don't stand here and tell me you don't give a damn anymore when you never did in the first place" Kid continued with a cold stare in his eyes. "And don't pretend you know anything about me and Lou… you never bothered to listen to what I had to say in the first place so who are you to judge me?

Rachel had sunk down against the wall beside the door. Kid speak was a tremendous leap into the right direction. But when she heard the pain and sorrow laced in his voice she knew they hadn't even scratched the surface yet. Rachel buried her head in her hands and sighed. One step at a time, she chanted in her head, one step at a time and everything will be fine. She just wasn't sure what the next step should be.

---


	14. Chapter 14

It was doctor Fuller's last day in town and to make sure he didn't leave any loose ends he made one last stop at the station to see about how Kid was doing. Not to see how he was healing up physically, but how he was doing emotionally after having been notified on more than one occasion that the people around him were very worried about him. When he rode up he found the young man sitting outside, alone.

"I see you're up and about again" The doctor said as he sat himself next to the Kid. "That must feel good"

"It does, though the bandage is really startin' to itch" Kid said with a grimace.

The doctor let out a chuckle and explained it was all part of the healing process. Just a couple more days and he would be freed of all bandages and stitches that had him so uncomfortable.

"How are things around here going? Any progress on keeping those seizures under control?" Doctor Fuller asked.

Kid shifted uncomfortably "I haven't had any since the last time"

"Is that because you make sure you talk about things that bother you, or that nobody has been pressing you on talking about things that bother you?

The silence that followed was enough answer for Doctor Fuller.

"I see…." The doctor muttered. "Well I'm sure you think they're all very relieved they don't have to deal with you anymore"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Kid snapped at the doctor's careless comment.

"I'm just stating how you come across" He answered hastily.

"That ain't at all how things are" Kid growled. "Things just… haven't changed 's all"

Doctor Fuller looked sideways and waited a while before he continued.

"From what I hear, you're the one holding back the change"

With a deep frown Kid looked at the doctor, obvious to the fact he needed some time to wrap his head around the last things the doctor had said to him. Kid opened his mouth as if to say something but was at a total loss for words.

"You know, things have been quite busy at the office these past few days, and I have to say, all these people here you work and live with seem to care a whole lot about you and have been trying desperately to get you to open up. Two people in particular have been coming to see me about every day since you've been injured"

"Lou and Jimmy" Kid muttered knowing exactly who those two must have been.

Doctor Fuller nodded "That's right, Louise and Jimmy"

Kid let out a deep sigh as he remembered the night just before he tore out the station when all of them, including Lou treated him as if he were air just when he had decided to try his best to make an effort in trying to talk about the things that needed talking about. The feeling of being rejected by the people he cared about, in a place that he had come to think of as home still stung like it had only been yesterday. Without thinking, kid put his thoughts into words.

"The day Buck found me, when I got hurt, was the day I decided to make a change. But they all started actin' weird; Jimmy said he couldn't talk to me and Lou…. Lou acted like she didn't care. Like I wasn't worth caring for anymore. I got so mad I had to get away from them but started havin' trouble breathin' again." Kid started.

Suddenly everything made perfect sense to Doctor Fuller now, all the incoherent ramblings he had to listen to over the past few days now suddenly fell into place. Especially Teaspoon's half hour rant was finally more than clear to him, and he couldn't help but smile.

"Ah… I think I can clear that up for you. It seems someone had come to see me after my first visit, and interpreted your condition slightly different than it was actually explained to him. From what I gather, this same person talked about this with your friends and that is why they were acting so strange all of a sudden"

Kid's eyes grew wide with shock when realization that all of what happened was based on misinterpretation and miscommunication.

"I went through all of this because of one person got all of it wrong?" He asked incredulously.

Doctor Fuller gave Kid a wry smile "I'm afraid so, son"

Kid groaned and buried his face in his hands "I can't believe this… I've been such a pain to everyone and none of it ain't even their fault!"

Doctor Fuller got up from where he was sitting, knowing he was no longer needed there. Standing in front of Kid, he made one last effort to get the boy to leave what happened in the past and to focus on the future.

"I leave this afternoon, and I came here to see you were going to be alright. Not physically… because I know how to do my job" The doctor smirked "But to make sure you know that if you don't talk to people you'll never know what really goes on in their minds."

Kid slowly rose to his feet, hissing when the movement put some strain on his still healing shoulder, and stretched out his hand to the doctor.

"I can't thank you enough for all you've done for me" Kid said gratefully while he shook the doctor's hand.

"You just make amends with the people you care about and we'll call it even." Doctor Fuller answered with a broad grin.

"Will you…. I mean, is there a chance we'll see you back here in these parts again?" Kid asked carefully.

Doctor Fuller mounted his horse and looked down at Kid "There is no telling what might happen in the future, but I tell you what. You'll need to go see Doctor Barnes in a few days about those stitches, I'm sure he'll be more than welcome to tell you how you can get in touch with me."

Kid nodded with a smile and watched the doctor ride out. The doctor's word still running through his mind he thought feverishly how he could apologize for being such a horse's behind, but at the same time tell them to never ever make him feel like they made him feel again.

---

The bunkhouse was at it's usual chaos; the boys were told by Rachel to start cleaning out the mess they had made in there or else there'd be no lunch and she'd double up the chores for everyone.

"Blackmailin' us with food is blasphemy! It has to be!" Cody whined while he threw anything and everything he could get his hands on in his trunk.

"Hey! That's mine!" Lou yelled as she watched Cody carelessly throw one of her belongings in the trunk.

"Well, now ya know where to go look for it when you need it! Cody sneered.

Jimmy ruefully shook his head, still amazed at how they hadn't killed each other by now. Having cleared the little stuff he had lying around his eyes wandered to Kid's bunk. For about a week he hadn't slept at the bunkhouse but there were some items of his scattered around from before he had been injured. Everyone in the bunkhouse became silent as they watched Jimmy pick up the worn-out book he found on the ground and placed it on top of the bed bunk.

Everyone was so fixed on Jimmy tending to Kid's belongings nobody noticed someone entered the bunkhouse.

"That's supposed to go under the pillow. You should know that by now, you've seen me place it there almost every night." A voice suddenly rang out.

---


End file.
